Br Ba S5 E16: Felina

The end of Breaking Bad was all about Walt’s attempts to atone for his crimes. The isolation in New Hampshire did humble him and give him time to think and so he finally, finally admits to Skyler that he went into the meth business not for the sake of the family but for himself. “I liked it. I was good at it,” he tells his estranged wife as she copes with her new circumstances, forced from her home and facing charges. Finally Walt faces up to the devil in the mirror and admits that his ego was driving him.

Walt knows he is a dead man, either from the cancer that is eating his lungs or from his incipient revenge scheme, so with an almost Zen-like calm, he gets his house in order. As a parting gift, Walt grants some closure to both Skyler and Marie. In disclosing the location of Hank’s body, Marie can perhaps grieve and then start to move on. Maybe Skyler will successfully trade the information for some kind of plea bargain. Walt’s acts are a gesture of kindness but the Lambert sisters have still suffered so much and may never be whole and in the end, it’s because of the choices he made. One last sad look at Holly and Flynn (from a distance) and he is out of their lives.

Now we see that Walt’s reaction to seeing Gretchen and Elliott on TV at the bar last episode was not rage but a light bulb going off and so he uses Gray Matter to funnel his remaining millions to his son. The tragedy is that Flynn will never know it was his father who gave him the trust fund. For Walt, it must sting, knowing that it will appear that his former partners are supporting the family, something he tried to avoid in the first place. He also goes to his grave knowing that his son hates him. After last week’s brutal disowning, I’m sure it will take a very long time for him to forgive his father.

I would like to have learned a little more about what drove Walt from the company (and what made him the person he became because I think Heisenberg was always lurking inside him) but maybe these details were better left to the imagination. It was hilarious to see Badger and Skinny Pete as Walt’s “hit men,” with laser pointers as their weapons. I appreciated the comic relief in that scene but the interaction with Jesse’s friends set up an important development: the two drug dealers tip him off to the fact that blue meth is still circulating.

Then we see that atonement is not all that Walt is doing before he dies. It’s his ego, not altruism, that spurs him to want to kill those neo-Nazis and Jesse. He wants to ensure that his patented blue meth recipe dies with him.

So why does Walt save Jesse from the hail of bullets from that badass machine gun contraption? I have no idea. It was clearly a split-second decision to push him to the floor because if Walt wanted to spare Jesse from the massacre, he would not have had the Aryans bring him out from the lab in the first place.

Maybe it was some kind of atonement on Walt’s part to offer Jesse a chance at killing him. Jesse’s response, “Do it yourself,” was perfectly satisfying. If he’d shot Mr. White, he would just be obeying his manipulative teacher’s commands one final time, and that was a cycle he needed to break free from.

I admit I choked up when Jesse sped through the gate in a howl of triumph and catharsis. It’s a testament to Aaron Paul’s abilities that so many viewers were so nervous about his character’s fate. A lesser actor might have left us to hate this person or write him off as a junkie. But the performance was so strong that I leave the series hoping that Jesse gets to go to his woodshop and work on his little box.

Watching Jesse strangle Todd was so satisfying that my enjoyment bordered on inappropriate. Society is better off without a psychopath like him. It was also satisfying to see Lydia sweeten her chamomile tea with a little ricin. Todd and Lydia are horrible people, completely morally bankrupt, and got what was coming to them.

Walt’s final demise was fitting and poetic. He died a victim of his own bullet that ricocheted around the room. This was a reminder that with the decisions he made, Walt caused a chaos that killed many innocent people. Characters like Andrea and Jane and the people on the planes that crashed did not have to die but did because they got caught in Walt’s machinations. Now Walt is fatally caught in his own chaos.

Did Walt’s atonement at the end redeem him? It’s not for me to say but I cannot forget that he caused more trouble for his family in trying to save them. The tragedy of Breaking Bad is, of course, that none of this had to happen. The cancer was catching up to Walt and would have killed him anyway. If he hadn’t made the decisions he did, Walt would have been able to die in his own home surrounded by a family that still loved him, instead of on the floor of a dirty meth lab.

I was a little surprised by “Felina” because I was expecting the series to end with a little more pathos than it did. I guess I was expecting as many shocks and tears as we had the last few episodes. But the approach here does make sense now. “Ozymandias” was the climax of all the action that had come before (and, I think, the dizzying height of the entire series) and the last two episodes were the falling action and final resolution. It was impressive to see how many loose ends the last episode tied up. I’m happy nobody pulled any bullshit on this finale and we didn’t discover they were all trapped in a snow globe the whole time or there was some asinine twist like Flynn was the real mastermind.

Thinking of the series as a whole, I can say now that Breaking Bad is my favorite TV show of all time. It was impressive to see the series get better than ever in the fifth season. What a beautiful, terrible thing Vince Gilligan and those actors created. What a masterpiece. I can’t wait to watch the whole thing again.

Which, Um

You know, I’ve been thinking about it and there are a few speech patterns that annoy me so if you could avoid using them then that would be great you’re the best thanks!

Don’t start your sentences with “which.” I don’t know how it started but this verbal tic is everywhere lately. It doesn’t bother me as much in speech but of course nothing is as offensive in speech because once we speak it, it’s gone and we don’t have the printed record to dwell on. Something really irritates me about these written sentences: “We went out and got chocolate ice cream. Which, I would rather have had vanilla.”

Don’t start a sentence with a dependent clause. I see this way too much and it irritates me deeply. Say, “We went out and got chocolate ice cream but I would rather have had vanilla.” It’s grammatically correct and less self-conscious.

Never write a sentence starting with “Um,” particularly when commenting on something online. There’s no way you can begin a comment with “Um” and not sound like a condescending asshole: “Um, actually, Defcon 1 is war and Defcon 5 is peacetime.” Yeah, you’re right but that one syllable is obnoxious because you want to sound like you’re sheepishly pointing out a mistake but you’re just coming off like a prick. It’s like ending an online rant with “Just sayin.’” You are never just sayin’ when you say that.

I mean, when you start off with “Um,” I’m not saying you are a dick but since you’re a stranger, I have only your comment by which to judge you and you sure do sound like a dick. It’s the worst possible first impression you can make.

I’m also not a fan of explaining something solely by saying, “Because of course.” For example, “Miley Cyrus twerked on stage with teddy bears because of course.” If used surgically, that phrase can be an effective putdown but it can also be overused to the point of laziness.

All Cried Out: A Short Play Starring Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

Freestyle singer Lisa Lisa Velez lies on her queen bed one dreary night. It is after 3 a.m. and still she waits, her cheeks slightly salty with long-dry tears, for her man to come home. He said he had to work late — he always seems to work late — but she doesn’t buy it. She saw him in the city that day. She waved to him but he pretended not to see her. Holding a notebook, Lisa Lisa reads aloud a few lines of poetry she had written to express her pain.

Lisa Lisa: “All alone on a Sunday morning/ Outside I see the rain is falling/
Inside I'm slowly dying/ But the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying.”

The door opens and in walks Cult Jam. He has clearly been drinking and has to steady himself on the bureau for support. He throws his coat on the bed and slumps onto a chair. Lisa Lisa can see the lipstick on his collar.

Lisa Lisa (eyes flashing in rage): And you … Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow? Set this place on fire 'cause I'm tired of your lies. All I needed was a simple "hello" but the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry.

Cult Jam begins to pass out but she slaps him awake. 

Lisa Lisa: I gave you my love in vain. My body never knew such pleasure …
my heart never knew such pain! And you … you leave me so confused. Now I'm all cried out over you.

Cult Jam (bitterly): Cryin' over you, yeah.

At the sound of Cult Jam’s words, Lisa Lisa flops down despondently on the bed, her head in her hands. Cult Jam softens at the sight of this and walks over to comfort her.

Cult Jam: Never wanted to see things your way. Had to go astray. Why was I such a fool? Now I see that the grass is greener. Is it too late for me to find my way home? How could I be so wrong?

Lisa Lisa (dramatically shoving Cult Jam’s hand off her shoulder and revealing her newly tear-stained face): Leaving me all alone. Don't you know my tears will cause an inferno? Romance up in flames … Why should I take the blame? You were the one who left me neglected.

Cult Jam: I'm so sorry, baby.

Lisa Lisa: Apology not accepted. Add me to the broken hearts you've collected. I gave you all of me.

Cult Jam: Gave me all of you.

Lisa Lisa: How was I to know you would weaken so easily? I don't know what to do.

Cult Jam (shrugs helplessly): I don't know what to do.

Seeing that Cult Jam will be of no help in repairing their broken relationship, that he will not be faithful to her, Lisa Lisa starts to pack a bag with her clothes. She starts to cry again but shakes her head no and forces herself to stop.

Lisa Lisa: Now I'm all cried out over you. I gave you my love in vain. My body never knew such pleasure. My heart never knew such pain and you …

Cult Jam: You left me so confused.

Lisa Lisa: Now I’m all cried out over you.

Lisa Lisa walks out the door for the final time, leaving Cult Jam alone and drunk in their bedroom.

Cult Jam: I’m cried out, too …

Br Ba S5 E15: Granite State

At what point do you think Walt realized he would have been better off swallowing his pride, accepting Gretchen Schwartz’s offer of money for his cancer treatments and staying away from meth? Did he realize this while stuck 2,000 miles from home in an isolated cabin, getting chemo from a guy who learned how to give it by watching You Tube videos and paying the man for his company at a rate of $10,000 an hour? Do you think he has yet to realize it?

The penultimate episode “Granite State” showed that Walter “Mr. Lambert” White is surely suffering in exile in the titular state. He is a total bastard, sure, but it’s never pleasant watching anybody waste away from cancer, losing so much weight that his wedding ring no longer fits. The irony is that the disease would have gotten to him anyway but if Walt had made different choices, he would have at least been able to live out his last days in the care of his family. What a hellish punishment for Walt: all he has left in the world is $11 million in a barrel and he can’t spend it or give it to his family.

Everyone in the Breaking Bad universe is suffering. Skyler, far from being exonerated by Walt’s rant last week, is under legal investigation and under pressure to give up the location of her husband, which she doesn’t know. The Aryans break into her home and threaten her not to reveal Lydia’s involvement in the meth scheme.

(Before I go any further, we need to talk again about that phone call between Walt and Skyler during “Ozymandias.” I wrote last week’srecap in haste and there are a few things I realized upon further reflection. At first, I didn’t get what Walt was doing since I was so shocked by the venom in what he said [Steve recalls me audibly gasping when he called Skyler a “stupid bitch”] and my mind was mush by that point after 45 minutes of horror. It’s clear that he was exonerating his wife by taking blame for the meth operation and its ensuing murders and obviously very pained by having to talk to her that way. Still, I wonder how much of what Walt said sprung from a real place of resentment, as if the “you never believed in me” comments might be true but exaggerated for effect. Anyway, what threw me was hearing Skyler say “I’m sorry” during the rant. At first, I thought maybe it was her buried fear of her husband surfacing; that she’d been a little afraid of him all along and when his true ugliness surfaced, she started to cower. Now I realize Skyler caught on to how Walt was giving her freedom — in its way a tender act clothed in hate. Her apology was tenderness cloaked in fear. Skyler realized she would never see Walt again so she used a code to tell him goodbye, that she loved him and that she was sorry it didn’t work out between them. It was the only response she could give in the context of the call. I think the call works on another level as Vince Gilligan held a mirror up to the ugliness of the hate some people feel toward Skyler, namely that she is a “stupid bitch” holding back Walt’s murderous meth business. In any case, what an absolutely stunning scene that was in terms of writing and acting. There is always so much more going on beneath the surface of every scene and that’s what makes Breaking Bad my favorite show ever. But I digress.)

There were tantalizing hints at what’s happened during the time skip: Skyler is living outside her house and working some menial job under her maiden name. Newspaper clippings on Walt’s cabin walls hinted at her legal saga. What I would give to read those headlines or get more details on what happened in the intervening months.

Speaking of suffering, the hits just keep coming for poor Jesse Pinkman. It was heartbreaking to see him screaming, his face as red and distorted as a rotten tomato, when Todd shot Andrea. At this point, Jesse either needs to escape and inflict some horrible revenge or just die. He is a broken person now and I can’t imagine he can come back from all the damage he’s suffered. If he does get revenge, I would love to see Jesse eviscerate Todd. He straight-up murdered a little kid and now he’s killed a mother just as a punishment. He’s a scarily blank sociopath who needs to go.

The opening sequence was appalling and hilarious. It was appalling to see Walt rant and rave and plot revenge. Does he really not know that the jig is up? It was hilarious to see Saul pretty much say “I’m out” after witnessing Walt’s irrationality. As clownish as he is, Saul’s legal advice has been surprisingly common sense throughout the series.

Walt was at his lowest point on the phone with Flynn. It was just pathetic to watch him sob and heartbreaking to see his son so broken and traumatized by what his father did. Nothing can save his family now and he prepares to surrender.

That is, until this show provides another example of why happenstance and small decisions affect our fate. Had Gretchen and Elliott not appeared on TV at the right time (I called it months ago that Gray Matter would factor into the ending), Walt might have turned himself in and stopped a little of the bleeding. But the (understandable) way the Schwartzes distanced themselves from Walt inflamed Heisenberg’s ego and in a sick way, gave him one last thing to live for. Now we wait and see who gets a hail of machine gun bullets and who gets a puff of a ricin cigarette.

There are a few things I’d like to see addressed in the finale:

·      I need closure on Hank and Marie. I need to know whether they found Hank’s body and how Marie is handling it. Did she reconcile with Skyler, considering the two really have nobody but their sister now?

·      Please give Jesse some measure of peace, through death or redemption.

·      Why did Walt leave Gray Matter?

·      I need to know that Holly is safe. The show has had a few close calls, with Walt kidnapping her and the neo Nazis standing over her crib. Please get that baby somewhere far away from all this.

Finally, I am thrilled that Breaking Bad finally won an Emmy for best drama and that Anna Gunn won. As many actors as possible need to win Emmys for this show. Next year, I predict a Lord of the Rings-style sweep. As great as the first half of season five was, the second half has been superlative and needs recognition.

Br Ba S5 E14: Ozymandias

The official summary of last week’s Breaking Bad was a tad understated: “Everyone copes with radically changed circumstances.” If we were actually to make an accurate summary of everything that happened, it would go something like, “The Aryans kill Hank and Gomez in the desert. Jesse gives up information to the Aryans and they enslave him to cook meth for them. Marie, under the impression that Hank has arrested Walt, forces Skyler to reveal to her son Walt’s drug dealing. Walt tries to get the White family to leave with him but Skyler refuses and stabs him. Walt Jr. calls the police and Walt leaves with Holly, whom he drops at a fire station before leaving the family for a relocation program.”

Did I miss anything?

Holy mother of God, that was the best, tensest, most emotionally devastating episode of Breaking Bad ever. I spent it gasping like a cartoon character at every twist and turn and could barely speak by the time it was over. The final two episodes are set up now and it’s becoming clearer to me that the Aryans will raid the White house looking for the tape or evidence or whatever, while Walt eventually returns to New Mexico with a machine gun to take care of unfinished business.

It was especially sick to hear Walt rant to Skyler that she was a bitch who should have done what she was told and even sicker to hear Skyler say, “I’m sorry.” But I’m guessing that Walt’s awful diatribe on the phone to Skyler was him putting up a front; his way of cutting ties with the family before he goes into hiding. In his sick way, Walt did the last thing available to him to save the family.

In that confrontation in the desert, Walt did seem to delineate who is family and who is not. Hank is the true family he tried to save at the end and Jesse is not family and his life was expendable at the end. Walt left Jesse to his fate but not before the cruelest twist of his knife: Confessing that he watched Jane die; that he could have saved her and walked away. That was the final crime that Walt needed to admit.  

I have given up trying to predict where this show is headed so I certainly did not expect a knife fight to break out in the White living room. That was a true nightmare and I was afraid someone, perhaps the baby, was going to get stabbed. Good for Flynn for doing the right thing and simply calling 911. That whole horrible spectacle, with Walt grabbing Holly and forcibly backing out of the driveway with Skyler in the street screaming, was just awful to watch and stands out even in a season of awful moments.

I have to mention the wonderful/horrifying bookends to the episode. The way relatively happy memories of Walt and Skyler discussing baby names faded into the current scene of carnage in the desert really highlighted what a profound tragedy Breaking Bad has become. Then the ending, with baby Holly in the fire engine, really twisted the knife and my heart just melted out of me.

Walt has truly become the Ozymandias of the Shelley poem. The once fearsome meth dealer, who had warned his enemies to look on his works and despair, has become just a man dragging a barrel of money through the desert. He’s lost everything.

These people have all lost everything. Hank is dead and buried in an unmarked grave. Jesse is beaten to a pulp and chained like an animal. Marie has lost a husband and sister. Skyler has lost a husband and will be haunted by her complicity in what he did. Walt Jr. lost a father and an uncle he admired. It’s becoming almost unbearable to watch what’s happening to these people.

Things to Remember 2013

The turtle covering Yoko Ono's performance of "Voice Piece for Soprano and Wish Tree," otherwise known as "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Uh! Uh! Uh! UHHHH! Mwuah! Mwuah! Mwuah! AAAAAAA!! Oawha! Oawaha! Wohoa-ahh! Whoah-AAA! OoooAAAAhhhhooooAAAAhhooAhhh!!! Uh uh uh uh uh uh! AAAAwoaaaAAA!!"

Sitting on the deck as late as we wanted because the neighbors moved out

Perfect September weather

The very heavy sliding door

Opening your mouth to catch cheese puffs

The Bearded Tit

Pasta dinner

A cooler full of Dos Equis, Dogfish head and Amstel Light

Team America

Dancing to "Get Lucky" on the deck

Betting on what time people got to the house

Mr. Rogers' fabulously filthy fuck friends

Ribs and ribs again

Finding lost keys on the beach

The river on the beach

Pork tenderloin

It's difficult to be friends with you

"Jesus Is a Firework"

Rock Band

Orange Is the New Black

The fingernail moon in the sky

Watching the massive thunderstorm from the deck

Mojito cream puffs

Miley finally admits: "I'm a total mess"

Kid toucher afterglow

Manti

Gretchen's faux tequila photo shoot

Steve explains football

Various frequencies of pooping or not pooping

Bob Dole's slow hand

The bloody handprint on the door

Dogfish Head sampler

Fred the bubble

The photo shoot on the stairs

Still going to Seatowne together after so many years

Br Ba S5 E13: To’hajiilee

There’s one good thing about missing the latest Breaking Bad while we were on vacation: I don’t have to wait a full week to see who is left standing after that heart-stopping desert shoot-out.  

Setting the heart of “To’hajiilee” in the desolation of the New Mexico desert mirrored the fact that this episode stripped the series back to its primary elements: Walt, Jesse and Hank facing down one another with guns and handcuffs over barrels of meth money. I could see it coming that Hank and Gomie would not get away with reading Walt his rights and then taking him away. This is a show that has repeatedly solved one confrontation by inciting another one. One crisis ends and a worse crisis begins. Enter the neo Nazis.

So DEA agents and men with swastika tattoos fire large guns and we see the cruel cut to black with the words “Produced by Vince Gilligan” without knowing who will survive. I have a bad feeling Hank will not be getting out alive because the tone of his phone call to Marie really seemed like a last goodbye.

The lead up to the confrontation, with Walt speeding down the highway in a rage and panic, was breathtaking. In one phone call, he admits every murder he committed in a neat litany that sums up the series. After all that, the jig is up and the feds have the goods on him. What finally did Heisenberg in (at least til the Aryans showed) was his arrogance and greed. He was shocked that someone would be smarter than him and discover the coordinates to the buried money and appalled that someone would take his hard earned cash.

The other elemental clash here was the confrontation between Walt and Jesse. Yet again, Aaron Paul turns in a devastating performance, the look in his eyes when he sees Walt communicating volumes. He looked to me as if he were finally realizing just what it meant to really defeat Walt. Under all the hate Jesse justifiably harbors for Mr. White, he still looks up to him in a twisted way and is shocked to see him in handcuffs and Jesse looks almost like he’s still that student who doesn’t want to let his former teacher catch him at misbehaving.

That all ends with Walt, his father figure, whispering “Coward,” as if to a son who disappointed him, followed by a well-deserved shower of spit from Jesse. The man deserves every bit of spittle.

Well, now I need a defribrillator to restart my heart from that gun battle. Until the next review, have an A-1 day!

Br Ba S5 E12: Rabid Dog

For five seasons, Jesse Pinkman had exclusively called his former chemistry teacher “Mr. White.” Last night, he finally goes from that honorific to a new form of address: “Asshole.” With that, even more than with the gasoline soaked rugs, I feel the bond between Walt and Jesse is shattered. Jesse has gone completely rogue, refusing to do what his former meth partner tells him to.

 

Walt finally knows it, too. He spends most of the episode mounting absurd defenses of Jesse, telling Skyler he had no wish to harm the Whites and telling Saul that Jesse would listen to reason about the reasons why he had to poison Brock – to which his wife responds that the kid had come very close to setting their home on fire and his lawyer responds that he didn’t think Jesse would go for a reasonable discussion of the “nuances of child poisoning.”

 

Hank is perceptive enough to see, based solely on testimony, that his brother-in-law has a close relationship with Jesse (or as Jesse puts it, Walt is gay for him). That’s why we see Walt finally draw a line in the moral sand: He will not sign off on murdering Jesse. Like a father with a troubled son, he hopes against hope that love will be enough to bring the son around.

 

That’s what Walt thinks until Jesse finally addresses him with that term of disrespect. Then, just as the scales fell from Jesse’s eyes about what kind of person Walt is, the scales fall from Walt’s eyes and he realizes Jesse will no longer listen to reasoning or manipulation. Time to call in creepy Todd and his neo-Nazi uncle.

 

Walt felt artificial and a little off in last night’s Breaking Bad and maybe that’s because for most of the episode, he seemed like a non-psychopathic person for the first time in forever. He seemed genuine when talking to Walt Jr. by the pool and was moved to tears. Of course, right after talking to Junior, it’s almost like he thinks “Let me call my real son” and tries to get Jesse on the phone. The more I think about it, the more Walt’s subdued manner most of the episode seems like Bryan Cranston’s very subtle, almost subliminal, way of depicting his shell-shock at Jesse’s act of destruction against his home.

 

The Whites have already come so far, Skyler figures, so what’s one more corpse in the shape of Jesse? I loved the shot of Skyler from above, lounging on the luxurious hotel bed with a drink in her hand, as if she’s some sort of queen or Lady Macbeth plotting revenge.

 

Skyler White is increasingly a confounding character and I’m not sure what to think of her anymore. I had sympathized with her earlier as Walt was clearly trying to trap her in an abusive situation but on the last episode, she seems more than ever like a schemer. She’s always been reliably practical and correctly knocked some sense into her husband’s head that the guy who tried to burn down their house is unlikely to listen to reason. Anna Gunn is doing a wonderful job with a complex character and I hope she wins an Emmy.

 

Hank seems to have come up with a plausible way to bring down Walt by bringing his trusted ally Gomie into the fold. I sort of wish they had showed the thought process of convincing his partner that the brother-in-law was the meth manufacturer all along. I was excited to see Hank being the one to burst into the White home and save it from destruction because he deserved a great character moment after being so lost.

 

“Rabid Dog” was slower than the thrill ride of the last three episodes and was mostly set-up but it was a sutble episode whose points sunk into me only after reflection. I can’t imagine where Jesse will go to hit Walt where he lives but I’m guessing it has something to do with his ego.

 

It was a treat to see Breaking Bad at its normal time, since it’s a long weekend and we could stay up. No such luck next week, since we’re on vacation and may not get to it til we get home. I’m sure we’ll live.