Game of Thrones S7 E3: The Queen's Justice

The Queen of Thorns swallows the poison and drops the mic. Before she goes, Olenna Tyrell takes a few shots at her executioner, Jamie Lannister. (“There are always lessons in failure,” he says. “You must be very wise by now,” she shoots back). She also delivers a revelation.

It was she who killed King Joffrey via poison, Olenna tells Jamie. This may change a lot, since the Lannisters have been blaming Tyrion and Sansa for years. Or maybe it won’t change much at all: Cersei no doubt would have found some pretext to call for Tyrion’s death, and maybe the game is too far gone to make this misunderstanding more than a tragedy. I will miss Diana Rigg’s shiv-like putdowns. I also wonder how Olenna would have revealed her poisoning of Joffrey if Jamie had chosen a less resonant method of execution. She would have had to find another way to work it into the conversation.

It was a clever plan for the Lannister army to go after Highgarden, which offers money to the broke Lannisters, rather than defend Casterly Rock, which has symbolic importance to the family but apparently not much else. I liked the scene with the Iron Bank accountant, since it was amusingly mundane to talk about all those debts.

Cersei takes revenge on Ellaria for killing Myrcella by poisoning Ellaria’s daughter and leaving mother to watch daughter die. This is a case of everybody being terrible, with one murder spurring another spurring another. Cersei is a godawful person but she’s fun to watch and has been doing pretty well so far in the endgame. Also fun to watch: Euron, who seems like the closest thing this show has to Freddie Mercury.

Fire meets ice in Dragonstone as Daenerys, woman of umpteen titles, meets Jon Snow, her secret nephew and man of one title. This was like immoveable object meeting immoveable object, with Dany holding Jon to the Stark oath of fealty to the Targaryens and Jon pointing out that maybe the oath is invalid since the mad king killed a ton of people and besides, he’s king in the North now. Maybe the political positions are too entrenched for either to budge. What happens to the North’s semi-autonomy if/when Daenerys becomes queen of Westeros? The two appear to have reached a compromise with Jon requesting the dragon glass. These two can still work together by doing different things.

In Winterfell, Littlefinger is still hitting on Sansa, telling her “Command suits you.” GO. AWAY. He’s annoying but Littlefinger can still be useful to her, with his advice about imagining everything happening at once and then never being surprised. The lady of Winterfell reunites with her sibling but it’s not the good one. It’s Bran, dragged there by Meera, who I really hope gets a break for awhile. I guess this kid is supposed to seem remote since he’s the Three-Eyed Raven and he’s focusing on otherworldly, more important matters, but he just seems ungrateful and unfeeling when Sansa hugs him and he just sits there. She’s thrilled to see him and he reminds her of the night her psycho husband raped her. Thanks for coming, Bran! Bran tells her he can never be lord of Winterfell, and I guess his work as the Three-Eyed Raven is one reason. The other reason is that he has gotten a bunch of people killed, people who were just trying to help him.

Sorry but I just don’t like that kid.

Trump: Thanks for your service but no thanks

President Trump’s tweeted-out order to ban transgender people from military service is disgraceful on a human and practical level.

You have to figure trans people are already pretty brave to navigate the world in general, given the hate they deal with. Isn’t that kind of bravery a quality we need in our soldiers? Transgender men and women have already been serving their country, even before the ban on openness lifted last year. The arrogance of that man to announce “Thanks for your service but no thanks” via a GD smart phone. Can you imagine giving years of service and now being in limbo, not knowing if you’ll be discharged? 

It’s stupid in general to lay a big blanket of judgment over an entire group of people and say, “People like you can’t do X job.” At one time, the military thought women couldn’t serve in active duty, treating women as a monolith rather than looking at their actual capabilities, and that wasn’t fair. Further back, black soldiers were segregated from whites, and that wasn’t fair either. We resolved those short-sighted policies but what good does it do to take this step backwards and say transgender people are no longer able to serve? How does it make our country safer to drive competent people out of our armed forces? If people, transgender and otherwise, can serve, then they should be welcome to serve. We need to judge people’s capabilities to do a job on actual capabilities and not on immutable identity.

This decision is also dumb on a practical level. Trump says this is driven by medical costs that are unique to trans people but those costs are a drop in a very large ocean of what we spend on the military. So we’re each going to get an extra nickel back in taxes while dismissing a bunch of competent people from the military? If anyone is actually outraged at their tax money going to transgender soldiers, they should remember that the trans soldiers also pay taxes for things that benefit the outraged among us.

At least the Joint Chiefs themselves are saying they “will continue to treat all of our personnel with respect” and not abide by Trump’s tweet unless there is something more formal. That’s heartening.

Whether or not the transgender ban really takes effect, this should put the lie to the idea that Trump would support LGBTQ people. Some people in our community, like dimwitted Caitlyn Jenner, actually bought that BS before the election. Most of us were not distracted by Trump waving a rainbow flag in our faces and saying the acronym “LGBTQ” like he was learning to read for the first time.

Put aside the rhetoric and look at the administration’s actual record on LGBTQ issues. We have this cruelly-announced military ban. We have a vice president who championed conversion therapy for gay kids and introduced a law in Indiana protecting anti-gay discrimination for businesses. We have an attorney general arguing that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act does not protect gay people from being fired solely due to their sexual orientation. We have a secretary of education who, faced with a choice of enforcing the protection of transgender children in schools, decided not to protect these kids. We have a new Supreme Court justice who has already voted against listing the names of gay parents on the birth certificates of adopted kids. This is six months in.

Non-LGBTQ people had reasons for voting for Trump and I understand some of that. But I never understood and will never understand gays for Trump. Set aside the rainbow flag-waving and read what was in the Republican party’s platform:

On marriage equality: “We condemn the Supreme Court’s ruling in United States v. Windsor, which wrongly removed the ability of Congress to define marriage policy in federal law. We also condemn the Supreme Court’s lawless ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges, which in the words of the late Justice Antonin Scalia, was a ‘judicial Putsch’ — full of ‘silly extravagances’… For that reason, as explained elsewhere in this platform, we do not accept the Supreme Court’s redefinition of marriage and we urge its reversal, whether through judicial reconsideration or a constitutional amendment returning control over marriage to the states.”

So they would reverse something gay people fought for for decades, something important to the dignity of many people. That’s one example. The party also endorses the First Amendment Defense Act, which could justify businesses not serving gay people, and heavily implies an opposition to adoption by gay people.

All the evidence was right there: Trump’s party wrote it down for anybody to read online. Evidently some gay people didn’t and voted against their own interests, and I will never understand it. They told you who they are but you didn’t listen.

Game of Thrones S7 E2: Stormborn

I enjoyed this episode’s table-setting more than the table-setting in the season premier.

The battle of the Greyjoys was fun and impressively shot through flying embers, if a little bit confusing with everything going on. I don’t think too many people will miss the Sand Snakes. It looks like Yara and Ellaria are the prizes Euron will bring back to Cersei. Is Theon playing a long game or did he just lose his nerve?

I liked the scenes with all the rival families finally getting together to plot their conquering. Daenerys forgives the treachery of Varys (with uncharacteristic fear in his eyes) conveniently before forgiving the treachery of another mercenary, Melisandre. How will Daenerys feel when she finds out about the priestess’ part in Shireen’s sacrifice? Varys’ words, “Incompetence should not be rewarded with blind loyalty,” are words we can all live by, even in this world. Missandei again proves her spot on the team, correcting the gender of the prophecy about the prince.

Miraculously, everybody converges from different parts of Westeros to meet in Dragonstone. There’s immediately bad blood between Tyrion and Ellaria but despite the death of Oberyn, I side with the Lannisters here. Ellaria says there are no innocent Lannisters but she killed a kid and I judge.

Up north, Arya finds Nymeria but maybe has changed too much or been away too long for the direwolf to recognize her. Now that she knows the Boltons are out of power, can she waltz right into Winterfell? Jon decides to meet Daenerys in Dragonstone despite some misgivings. The scene in Winterfell just felt a little too repetitive of last week, although I’m always grateful for Lady Mormont to get a word in.

In King’s Landing, the cognitive dissonance is strong. Cersei tries to convince various factions to unite with her against Daenerys by recalling the cruelty of the last Targaryen to sit on the Iron Throne. Nobody seems to realize that Cersei just did what the mad king did with the wildfire—like, just a few days ago. It seems like there’s a weird lack of acknowledgement of the firebombing of the sept and deaths of the king and queen, considering this was the 9/11 of this world. Cersei appears to be appealing to class divisions to get the soldiers to fight against the “savages” from other parts of the world.

I’m not buying what’s happening in Old Town. All those years and all that accumulated wisdom and nobody thought to try debriding the greyscale? It’s a pretty primitive and intuitive treatment. It just seems too deus ex machina, like not only is Sam finding the key to defeat the white walkers but he’s also going to cure a disease. Come on.

Oh, and Grey Worm and Missandei give into their urges. Get it, kids.

And another thing, Liberty Mutual lady

I have a serious bone to pick with the lady in the Liberty Mutual Insurance commercial. You know her. She’s the one with the snarky tone that laments that other insurance companies will only reimburse you for 75 percent of the value of your damaged car. “What are you supposed to do: Drive three-quarters of a car?” she says, a voice dripping with acid. In contrast, Liberty Mutual will pay you the full value of your car. “I guess they don’t want you driving around on three wheels,” she says, again harnessing the power of snark like the Hoover Dam harnessing the power of water for electricity. Well, she’s either a stone-cold liar or willfully ignorant of how insurance reimbursement works. Insurance companies will not actually give you a car with three wheels after your old car is totaled. That would be silly because if you tried to drive a non-tricycle vehicle with one wheel, your car would immediately tip over onto one corner, and then you’d never get anywhere. What an insurer will do, madam, is write you a check for a portion of the value of the old car, an amount that may be 75 percent. You can either take the money, say $15,000, and either buy a car that costs $15,000 with no cost to you, or you can buy a $20,000 car and finance the remaining $5,000 that the insurance company did not pay. It may not be fair, but you know what? Neither is life sometimes. Neither is life. But what I cannot countenance is a cavalier attitude toward the serious issue of auto insurance claims. And neither should you, Liberty Mutual Lady. Adjust your attitude.

Game of Thrones S7 E1: Dragonstone

Arya has joined the ranks of the mass murderers of Game of Thrones, poisoning the entire House of Frey. It fooled me. I assumed it actually was old Walder Frey in a flashback sometime after the Red Wedding.

Next stop: killing Cersei, as predicted (Steve said “I’m going to kill the queen” out loud the moment before Arya said it). To me, this all begs a question of how much vengeance is too much? Arya has now killed a ton of people. When does the punishment outweigh the crime? The seventh season is clearly setting her up for some kind of look-in-the-mirror moment.

“Dragonstone” was filled with characters sort of zooming out to look at the big picture in Westeros. For Queen Cersei, it’s a world of traitors all around her. As she walks all over a map of the continent, she plots the establishment of a dynasty for the surviving Lannisters. “They’re ashes,” she says to Jamie of her children. “We’re still flesh and blood. We’re the last ones who count.”

I’m intrigued by the philosophical differences arising between Jon and Sansa, who hash out their differences awkwardly in public. Jon sees the big picture, arguing that the differences between the houses won’t matter once the Night King swoops in with his army of the dead. He’s right but Sansa is also right that the interaction among the houses is something that won’t go away and they still all have to live in a world with those ancient divisions and loyalties. At Winterfell, every person over age 10 is enlisted in the fight, including Lady Mormont, who won’t be told by her grandfather to sit on the sidelines, knitting by the fire. You tell him, Lady Mormont.

In Oldtown, the archmaester takes an even longer view, arguing that even the war with the white walkers is something that will pass. “Every winter that has ever come has ended,” he tells Sam. That internship at the library is a pretty rough time for Sam, spending his days in a montage of diarrhea and gagging. I’m not sure what the map to Dragonstone was supposed to mean. What were they going to get out of a little pencil drawing?

Why was Ed Sheeran there? This was too close to stunt casting for my taste, which the show doesn’t need.

There were a few subtler scenes I liked. I liked the reveal of Jorah in the cell at Oldtown, asking for Daenerys. I also liked the Hound’s creepy vision of the white walkers in the fire, and how he was burying the family he condemned to death awhile back by taking their money and saying they were just going to freeze to death anyway, which is what happened.

It looks like it will be the Lannisters allied with Euron battling Daenerys allied with the rebel Greyjoys. Casting off her flowing Meereen gowns, Daenerys dresses in an outfit severe enough to rival Cersei, walking silently around an abandoned throne room, echoing the one in King’s Landing, and an abandoned war room, echoing the one Stannis used to use. Shall we begin?

What Is Wet May Never Dry

With summer heat and outdoor activities in full blossom, we hear so many exhortations to be safe. We get warnings about sharks in the ocean, lightning, heatstroke and all other sorts of dangers. Well, I’m hear to warn you about a danger many overlook: Leaving your car windows cracked when it rains.

I hope I don’t need to point out how dangerous this is but some things bear repeating. When you crack your window and a summer shower pops up, you actually run the risk of getting your car seats wet. This can lead to all sorts of unpleasant side effects, such as moisture. Your pants and shirts may get a little wet, until they dry.

You see this danger arise every day in office parking lots all over America. The morning will dawn with a spectacularly clear sky and employees will crack their windows to blunt the heat of the day. Then in mid-afternoon, the skies will darken and everyone will hear the thunder pierce the artificial chill of the central air. Your coworkers will go to the window and gawk in horror at their slightly lowered windows, agonizing over what to do.

“Should I run out? Should I leave the windows down and hope for the best? Ohh, I don’t know what to do!” Mark and Patty will fret in the lobby.

The smart thing to do in this situation is run out into the downpour, even if you don’t have an umbrella, and roll up your windows. You’ll be soaked and cold the rest of the day, and may look ridiculous, but isn’t that worth the risk of preventing your upholstery from being ravaged by an agent as caustic as rainwater?

Sure, the sun might come out in 20 minutes and the heat may dry the car seats as if it never rained. But do you want to take that chance? Will those seats ever truly be dry?

Dignity.

This type of nonsense wouldn’t fly at Huntingdon Learning Center and it certainly shouldn’t fly at the White House.

When someone like the president has so much to learn about the world and his job, he should be actually learning something and trying to improve his knowledge base. Maybe Google “healthcare reform” or try to understand the difference between North and South Korea. Trump’s aides keep excusing his missteps and misunderstandings by saying “he’s new to government.” Well, maybe try to catch up a little?

The president of the United States really has nothing better to do at 9 a.m. on a weekday than tweet about some mean talk show hosts or forward some dumb gif about knocking out CNN because its reporters criticized him? This is not some bored office worker going online to run out the clock. This is arguably the most powerful person in the world, and he’s watching cable news and tweeting.

The frequency of the stupid tweets is bad enough but the indignity of the content is profoundly embarrassing. I keep trying to imagine Obama or Bush or Clinton acting with so little dignity and I just can’t. All presidents have faced criticism but the others realized they should rise above it and try to get their work done. Even Nixon’s virulence was saved for tapes that were never intended for public release. Trump campaigned by saying other countries were laughing at us. That laughter gets louder every time he tweets.

Can you imagine what idiotic words his presidential library will immortalize? “I’m president and they’re not,” he said this weekend. This is not how a competent adult behaves. Trump should rise to the office and not drag the presidency down to him.

Please, please, please, stop screwing around on Twitter and accomplish something. Create some jobs like you said you would. Preserve Medicare and Medicaid like you said you would. At this rate, the only thing you’re accomplishing is lowering the bar for the presidents who come after you.