Game of Thrones S7 E7: The Dragon and the Wolf

The Wall falls, fire and ice meet in the biblical sense, and the mastermind who spurred the entire plot of Game of Thrones into action is dead.

The big parley in the dragon pit, a 45-minute set piece in an extended season finale, was riveting, with each faction making its case and trying to secure the future of the entire world. It was also kind of funny, with each person meeting his or her arch enemy, and Cersei’s late entrance being upstaged by Daenerys’ later and more dramatic entrance.

Cersei is genuinely terrified of the wight and makes a calculation that a truce, with conditions, would be best in the grand scheme of things. She’ll hope that the other side will remember that she cooperated with them and that they will have mercy after the walkers are defeated. It seems like a calculating plan, teaming up with the enemy to defeat the larger menace and then ensuring a good political position after the dust settles. But of course, it’s a lie. Cersei sends Euron to Essos to enlist the Golden Company for help while the others kill themselves trying to defeat the danger to the north.

That was a hell of a scene with Cersei confronting Tyrion about the deaths of her father and children. It is just such a pleasure seeing the two best actors in the cast face off for the first time in several seasons. As angry and ruthless as Cersei is, she just can’t order the deaths of her brothers. As terrible a person as Cersei is, I felt a twinge of pity for her when Jaime left her alone. Her family is gone except for her unborn child. That I could feel any pity for her is a testament to Lena Headey’s skill.

Littlefinger meets a well-deserved fate. There was a reason last week’s threat of Arya against Sansa seemed fake: It was just an act, designed to manipulate the master manipulator to think the sisters really were feuding. The Stark children finally pull off Littlefinger’s mask, realizing that he was the one who poisoned Jon Arryn, it was his dagger used in the attempt on Bran’s life, and Littlefinger encouraged Catelyn to take Tyrion prisoner, which set the whole series in motion. Petyr Baelish begs for his life, the mask of calm finally slipping, but Sansa will have none of it. She’s not as stupid as her parents sometimes were. Well-played, Lady Stark.

Jon gets it on with Aunt Daenerys. I assume the line about her maybe being fertile after all, mixed with the talk of a successor, means we’ll be seeing inbred Targaryen babies. More significantly, Sam and Bran put two and two together and realize that Jon is legally the legitimate heir to the Iron Throne. After all she’s been through, Daenerys will not take it well if she has to settle for being a consort.

Meanwhile, things don’t look like they’re working out up north, where the zombie dragon exhales some Icy Hot and destroys the Wall at Eastwatch. After six seasons, the white walkers are finally on the march.

Season seven was brisk but I think it was just enough to whet my appetite for the end of the series. Loose ends have been lopped off, the narrative has tightened and everyone is off to fight the monsters.

Landfill

That sound you heard after 3 p.m. yesterday was the soft rustle of millions of Americans throwing their eclipse glasses in the trash.

For a suddenly dark afternoon, those pieces of paper and plastic were prized possessions. Together we turned our eyes from the sidewalk to the skies. In Oregon, in Nebraska, in South Carolina. In fields, in stadiums, at the office, on the computer. We were one for two minutes, 41 seconds.

Then we discarded what we didn’t need anymore. Those glasses, which a few days before were selling for 17^th century Dutch tulip prices on Amazon, were worthless as suddenly as the birds went quiet in the shadows. The only worth these scientific accessories would have is to people sentimental enough to pack them in a hope chest or practical enough to store them safely, hoping they remembered where they put the glasses in April 2024.

Who would have use for these things now that the moon’s shadow shifted away from the sun into the empty who-cares of space? Leaving the fields with folding chairs, sitting in rural gridlock under unremarkable sunlight, they were just paper and plastic.

But we all looked up if we could and the overwhelming sky was worth the trivial cost.

Game of Thrones S7 E6: Beyond the Wall

Zombie dragon! It hadn’t occurred to me that that could happen, that the Night King could simply throw a spear at a dragon and enlist the creature into his army. Not only will this weapon be potent but seeing it in action will probably tear Daenerys apart. Now everybody is screwed. (Unless Daenerys cries on the dragon and her tears restore it with the power of love or whatever.)

The whole sequence north of the Wall was like Game of Thrones showing it could be a better zombie show than The Walking Dead. The stakes seemed higher than anything in the latter show, with the gang surrounded and freezing. The white walkers are creepy in their silence. The bear attack was very jarring and the sight of Beric’s flaming sword against the snow was beautiful.

I have two quibbles with this scene. First, enough with the last-minute saves. Someone has swooped in so many times to save the day, like in the Battle of the Bastards and the attack on Highgarden. Just in this one battle, it happened twice, with the dragon flying in and then Uncle Benjen saving Jon. It’s exciting but I don’t want it to be overused. Second, will those men please cover their heads? They have hoods built into their coats and they’re not using them. Didn’t their mothers ever tell them that 90 percent of body heat is lost through the head?

What a predictable disaster this trip has been. The group did capture the zombie but at the cost of one-third of the dragons. Tyrion did try to talk some sense into Daenerys about not using dragon fire for every problem but this was one situation in which it was appropriate since the wights are dead anyway so burning them isn’t inhumane. But now they know they have to use the remaining two dragons sparingly and can’t get near the Night King because he could easily zombify the other two. And then where are they? What weapons do they really have?

I’m kind of torn on the conflict between the Stark sisters. They were always different people on different trajectories, and they’ve both suffered and changed so much that it would have been unrealistic to see them giggling and braiding each other’s hair or whatever. It’s frustrating to see Arya, who is no fool, fall for Littlefinger’s letter.

Arya has been through a lot and is right to be suspicious but nothing Sansa has done has justified the threat of murder. Sansa was right that she was instrumental in taking back Winterfell while Arya was off in Braavos. A long talk, as well as some kind of therapy for the traumatized Arya, would probably clear up a lot of things between these two. They need to hear exactly what the other has been through. What does it serve to threaten your sister for allegedly betraying the family when what’s left of your family is your sister, one checked-out brother and one brother who may not come home?

Did anyone else think the bag of faces looked a little ridiculous?

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I try not to post too much about politics since it can be divisive and I try to have some variety so this isn’t just all Trump/Game of Thrones recaps. Sometimes I do feel the need to speak about what’s going on. I try to save up until the president does something especially outrageous and I’ll think, “This is the big one. I should say something.” Then something even more ridiculous will come out of the White House. I had thought I was beyond shock at what President Trump will say and do until yesterday, when his comments about Charlottesville left me flabbergasted. Then I realized there’s really no floor to his behavior. So I have to speak.

It is absolutely disgraceful that the president of the United States had to have his teeth pulled before specifically disavowing white supremacists and Nazis by name. It should be like a knee-jerk word association game: Someone says “Nazi” and you say “evil.” But no, he had to put a big asterisk next to these white nationalist protestors and even after sane people pointed out that the violence and terror yesterday was the fault of those people, he still had to double down and invoke some fictional moral equivalence between each side.

That press conference yesterday was some of the ugliest presidential behavior I’ve ever seen. He was defensive when he should have been soothing in troubled times. In his statements since Saturday, he also managed to brag about his electoral victory, claim credit for the bustling economy and tell us he owns a winery in Charlottesville. I can’t imagine another president within my lifetime acting like that in the face of national tragedy, when so many people are feeling threatened by this resurgence of hate. He should not need several do-overs to get this right; Nazis are the easiest thing in the world to condemn.

Mr. President, there is no equivalence between the Nazis/white supremacists/KKK and the counter-protesters. On one side you have an ideology that is inseparable from hate, and on the other side is people protesting that hate. Their ideologies are not equivalent and their actions are not equivalent.

Oh, but Trump says the white supremacists had a permit to march, while the counter-protesters did not. So when they were marching with torches and preaching hate against black people and Jewish people, they at least had their paperwork in order. Whew!

Trump also noted there was some good people in that Tiki torch parade and that not all were white supremacists. These people gaze Nazi salutes, chanted Nazi slogans like “blood and soil” and “seig heil,” and wore Nazi symbols. What more proof do you need of their ideology? The entire thing was a show designed to tell observers exactly who they are and what they believe—and what they believe is inextricable with violence. This march was a threat and they know it and we know it. There’s no other way to take it. That’s who these people are. As somebody wrote online yesterday, if you wear a big red nose and clown shoes and hang out with clowns, don’t complain when everyone thinks you’re a clown.

Trump said he wanted to get the facts before reacting but he’s completely full of shit. A quick glance at his Twitter shows that he reacts immediately to every world event, every terrorist attack, before getting the facts. This is a president who flips out and rails at the slightest provocation. Look at the list of people and things he’s insulted repeatedly on Twitter: Rosie O’Donnell, CNN, Mika Brzezinski, Nordstrom’s, Megyn Kelly, Amazon, etc. Yet Nazis march down an American street and all of a sudden, he walks on eggshells. The man people voted for for “telling it like it is” all of a sudden can’t call out this ideology of hate and death for what it is.

This type of hate has been around forever and white supremacists have marched before but now it seems like they’ve been emboldened. Trump could have shut this down but instead spoke in a way that thrilled David Duke and the Daily Stormer and that cast of degenerates (pro tip: if David Duke and the Daily Stormer are happy with you, you’ve done something wrong). Whether he meant to or not, the president is helping turn over a rock, and now we see all the bugs crawling out.

The ideology of the white supremacists and Nazis and KKK only goes in one direction—mass death—and he knows it, or he should know it. Yet he does not have the courage to “tell it like it is” and call evil evil.

Sixty years ago, we had a president who led the entire world against the Nazis. Now we have a president who has white nationalists in the White House and can barely bring himself to speak out against this evil. What the hell happened to our country?

Diet Things to Remember 2017

Have a Delmarvelous day!

Switching things up in Bayville Shores

A beautiful day at the beach and pool

A rainy day on the deck

Pizzas

Coastal Prostitute from “Cologne Cerrone Houdini” to “Transistor”

The kid fishing outside

Lasagna

Watching the world burn down on CNN

A game of Disturbed Friends and Joking Hazard

Enchiladas

Getting way too excited about lemon cookies

It’s Fashion!

Meredith Baxter-Birney binging on cake and falling on the floor

Go Fuck Yourself, I’m Coloring

I’ll shit right in your goddamn mouth! (fucking dare me)

Lemon cake and lemon sorbet

The loud AC next door

Not having to bring our own sheets

Outlet shopping

“You can fuck your own face”

Sand sculptures

The beautiful ‘80s sounds of Sheena Easton and Expose

Watching the lightning in the distance

Shoe Show

Driving around Fenwick Island looking for our next shore house

Sitting around the deck, talking, laughing and drinking with friends

It was a different deck in a different house but I couldn’t have picked better people to have a Delmarvelous time with!

Game of Thrones S7 E5: Eastwatch

Daenerys has tipped over into despot territory with the burning of the Tarlys who would not bend the knee. I can see the argument that she had to execute them for refusing to serve her, proving she has her money where her mouth is, but I also agree with Varys that she could also have not burned them alive. Surely there were more humane ways to do that. The modern-day equivalent would be a war crime.

I’ve seen Daenerys crossing over to the dark side for awhile now. She preaches something like democracy and taking back the world from the 1 percent but she’s really just like every other dictator (and Tyrion is starting to see that). She offers a choice but when one of the choices is death, can she really claim to be better than her father? I know Dany is the fan favorite but I’ve been uncomfortable with her for a long time.

It can’t be an accident that the show is even dressing Daenerys like Cersei now, with all that black and the chrome accents (although Dany has added a fetching maroon pashmina). These are two mad queens and they may now be allied against the threat from the other side of the Wall.

I liked the emotion of the reunion between Tyrion and Jaime. You could feel the history between them and they each did seem affected by reuniting. I also like Cersei’s delicate mix of anger and denial and grief when Jaime told her Olenna killed Joffrey. Cersei is an awful person but I think her character is leagues ahead of Daenerys in depth.

Davos thought Gendry was still out there rowing. The viewers did too, but now the royal bastard (and one of the series’ biggest loose ends) is back, rowing right into our hearts and killing soldiers with that large axe thing. Speaking of royal bastards, there will soon be another one in King’s Landing as Cersei and Jaime will be proud parents sometime soon. She’s not going to hide the incest. A murderous queen gets pregnant as the white walkers threaten apocalypse. This will not end well.

As for the series’ other bastard, it turns out Jon Snow is really Jon Targaryen, with a legitimate claim to the Iron Throne. It was sitcom-funny to see Gilly make herself useful, discovering Rhaegar and Lyanna were really married. It may be the most significant reveal of the series and nobody may ever know because Sam talked right over her.

Jorrah and friends are now planning to take a white walker as a hostage to convince Cersei of the threat from the zombie army. I’m sure nothing will go wrong with this plan and everything will work out just great for everyone.

Game of Thrones S7 E4: The Spoils of War

The dragons fly and decimate the Lannister army after Daenerys gets tired of losing. In the tradition of “battles that take up the whole back half of an episode of Game of Thrones,” that was very impressive. It was surreal to see the fires devastating the soldiers and horses (although it was a risky plan to unleash the dragon when it could also have burned the Dothraki). It was funny to see the Lannisters putting up their shields, since it was about as effective against the dragon as hiding under a desk would have been against a nuke.

Bronn wins the Westeros competence award, seeing the big picture (with Jaime’s guidance) and attacking Drogon with that spear, then saving Jaime’s life after he makes a run toward Daenerys. I liked the moment of Tyrion trying to dissuade his brother from attacking the queen and her dragon.

Then a cut to credits, of course, as Jaime falls into the water. He could be dead, of course, since anyone can die, but there’s too much story potential in having him tell Cersei that Tyrion is innocent of killing Joffrey. I think he’ll live since I have long thought that Jaime will be the one to kill Cersei. The fortune teller told Cersei her brother would kill her and she assumes it’s Tyrion but what if it’s the brother she loves who kills her? It would be too poetic and ironic to ignore that Jaime would have to slay another monarch, this time the one he loves.

All three surviving Stark siblings are finally together in Winterfell for the first time since the first season. The reunion between Arya and Sansa in front of their father’s statue was moving but realistic. These sisters love each other but never really understood one another and they’ve changed so much in the last few years.

Bran has also changed for the worse, becoming an even more ungrateful little shit than he was. Meera goes to leave and gets a curt “thanks” for dragging Bran through the snow and keeping him alive. I guess becoming the Three-Eyed Raven means you no longer have to show basic compassion for people who have shown it to you. Then she calls him on the fact that a bunch of people died for him. Tell him, Meera! I hope she can now spend some time relaxing with a drink with her family or something, now that she doesn’t have to drag around Captain Ungrateful. The cave drawings in Dragonstone by the Children of the Forest are a reminder that, oh yeah, Bran not only got a few individual people killed but also got a whole race killed. This concludes our latest episode of “I hate Bran.”

I’m really amused by the Iron Bank and I’m not sure why. It’s just funny to see amid all the battles and high stakes that Cersei has to pretty much sit down in one of those cubicles they have at the bank and negotiate such bland transactions. I like how the banker said the bank will miss the Lannisters’ interest payments. I guess even in Westeros they don’t want you paying off loans early.

Meanwhile, Jon is restraining himself from killing Theon. This whole season so far could just be characters reuniting after a long period and dramatically calling each other out on their behavior, and I’m loving it.

Keep chocolate chocolate

We have a chocolate problem in America. The problem is not chocolate itself (God forbid) but the proliferation of non-chocolate substances where there should be chocolate.

We were in a drugstore recently and saw something called a “Strawberry Kit-Kat.” The luscious brown of the chocolate shell was replaced by the bilious pink of strawberry. Can you imagine such a thing?

I’m guessing this was some test market candy that will not appear everywhere. This will probably go over as well as Crystal Pepsi. Americans will turn their noses up at these faux Kit-Kats and the United Nations will airlift crates of them to some war-torn or starving country. And then the people in that country will also turn up their noses at the strawberry abomination because they have some standards.

These aren’t the only horrifying types of candy on the market. I’ve seen Oreos with the gorgeous chocolate cookie replaced by vanilla or some other nonsense. I’ve seen Hershey’s kisses with some kind of non-chocolate swirl of wrongness mixed with the chocolate. I don’t understand what companies are thinking when they do this. It’s like they said, “Let’s take what people like about these candies—chocolate—and replace it with something else.”

I have no problem with strawberry or vanilla or anything else. But you know what, if you like those non-chocolate foods, there are candies for you. Buy something else but don’t mess with my chocolate. Every inch of space that strawberry occupies on that assembly line is another inch that could be occupied by chocolate to stuff into my bottomless maw.  

Chocolate candies are perfect as is. A Hershey’s kiss, with its bite-sized burst of pure chocolate, is a perfect object. Don’t experiment. Just leave it.