Hello?

Yeah, I bought a new phone. Mine finally, finally died, like the Strom Thurmond of cell phones. Steve could not hear me at all when I called him, even though I could hear him fine, so the time was right to buy a new phone.

When I told the saleswoman I wanted a new phone, she asked if I was eligible for an upgrade. “Am I ever,” I said, and pulled out my vintage 2005 phone. Oh, how they laughed. They laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I went right to the display area of the cheap phones and ended up getting just a basic cell phone. It will both make and receive calls and I can text with it. The only visible improvement over the old model was a camera, which the old phone did not have. I’m on the same old plan I was on before. The new model is free after a rebate.

I have no need for a smart phone. First off, I really can’t afford it. I could probably score a cheap smart phone somewhere but I’m not paying for some data plan. I just don’t need another monthly bill. There might be some situation where it would come in handy to be online at any time but it just isn’t worth it for me. If I had to check for some important email, that would be worth a data plan but why bother otherwise? I spend hours a day online so I honestly think I’ve run out of locations to go to.

I just place no importance whatsoever on cell phones. The smart phone revolution is like everyone else is laughing at some joke and I don’t get it and people explain it to me but I’m tone deaf (it was old but I can’t knock it because it served me well). That’s why I didn’t want to replace my 2005 phone until it died completely. Since the phone did stop functioning, I don’t think I can donate it. Nobody could hear me on the other end so I don’t want the phone to go to some women’s shelter and some poor woman calls 911 and nobody can hear her.

I also can’t wade through all the options and plans for phones. Maybe I’m just easily confused but it makes my head spin. I don’t want to donate all the brainpower to 3G and networks and carriers and data plans. Just give me a phone.

In general, I just don’t care about upgrading to the latest technology. I’ve used an iPad for work and it’s nice but it’s not my thing, not for the cost. I have my old iPod and there are newer models but I figure this one still has space left and still plays music so that’s all I need from it. Why replace it if it ain’t broke?

Nobody ever calls me anyway. (sad trombone)