Thursday, August 21, 2014

Out of Office Auto Reply: Simpsons Marathon


I will be out of the office and away from polite society in general for 12 days starting right now due to the Simpsons marathon on FXX.

During that time, I will be out of reach of cell phones, the Internet and all other forms of written and verbal communication due to the viewing of more than 500 episodes that have aired since December 1989. In that time, I may be able to sleep for a few half-hours during the particularly uninteresting early episodes, such as that weepy one with Lisa’s cowboy teacher, or the stupid episodes of the early 2000s, such as the one with the horse jockeys.

However, tomorrow will be prime time for viewing so please do not disturb me. That’s when they will start running the glory years of The Simpsons as season 4 begins. The first episode I remember ever watching was “Kamp Krusty” and for the next few years, the show just took off and aired one gem after another.

I will be propping my eyes open with toothpicks and drinking cases of discontinued Four Loko to stay awake as Bart gets an elephant, the people of Springfield sing of corrupt New Orleans, the radioactive Curies terrorize millions, Krusty sings “Send in the Clowns,” Homer wears a muumuu and threatens kids with his reaching broom, Homer earns some extra money plowing snow, and Marge’s pleas to fix Main Street are overwhelmed by a catchy song about a monorail. Most of all, I will be watching for the millionth time the pièce de résistance of The Simpsons, “Rosebud,” as Mr. Burns searches for his teddy bear in probably my favorite episode. I have these on DVD but will be watching everything again anyway.

Later in the marathon, I will deliriously catch some of the later episodes. It’s actually been awhile since I’ve seen a new one so I will need to catch up with everybody.

If you have something that needs immediate assistance, please contact my manager. See you in September.

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