Thursday, December 31, 2015

Top Perp Walks of 2015


This will be a short list.

2. Tonya Couch. I’d also like to see her son Ethan in handcuffs but as he’s still in Mexico, I’ll take the mother. She pisses me off just as much as he does. You would think that after her son got probation for killing for people while driving drunk and underage, then violating that probation, she might have him take a look in the mirror and guide him to be a more responsible person. Nah, Mother of the Year dyed his hair and took him on vacation in Puerto Vallarta instead.

What really got me about the “affluenza” defense was that the defense lawyer called it that, like he knew it was a joke. The term has a smirk built into it. If you buy into that logic, that Ethan was too privileged to know right from wrong, then that puts some responsibility on the parents because they should have taught him right versus wrong no matter how much money they had. Instead, four people are dead and Tonya is abetting the whole thing so I will not try to “see it from a mother’s perspective” or any of that nonsense; I will judge the shit out of these people. 

1. Martin Shkreli. I was one of those people doing a jig of glee when this guy did his perp walk. They didn’t get him for raising prices for Daraprim but as long as the guy goes to jail for something, that will be some satisfying Schadenfreude. Not only were his business practices corrupt but Shkreli seems like a really arrogant jackass anyway.

It’s unconscionable to raise the price of a potentially life-saving drug by 5,500 percent. Shkreli did reduce prices after public outcry but the fact that he could arbitrarily lower prices after arbitrarily raising them means that the prices are not based on any actual overhead costs but are instead based on profit. I guess he just needed the extra income to buy that $2 million Wu-Tang Clan album. Martin Shkreli is a terrible person and I hope the judge increases his sentence by 5,500 percent.

Well, that’s enough populist anger for 2015. Have a judgmental 2016!

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