The Ku Klux Who?

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is being interviewed on the set of some Sunday morning political show.

Reporter: I also wanted to ask you about some comments by David Duke about your candidacy. He offered support for your presidential bid and said that for white people not to vote for you would be “treason to their heritage.” What do you think of this white supremacist’s implied endorsement?

Donald Trump: Well, just so you understand, I don’t know anything about David Duke. Okay? I don’t know anything about what you’re even talking about with white supremacy or white supremacists. So, I don’t know. I don’t know, did he endorse me or what’s going on, because, you know, I know nothing about David Duke. I know nothing about white supremacists. And so you’re asking me a question that I’m supposed to be talking about people that I know nothing about.

Reporter: You don’t know anything about David Duke?

Trump: Never heard of the guy.

Reporter: Well, he was a Louisiana congressman. He actually ran for president twice and has been in the public eye since the ‘80s. He was a former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

Trump: Come again? The Ku Klux Who?

Reporter: Klan. Are you … unfamiliar with them?

Trump: I’d need to do more research.

Reporter: Really? The burning crosses? Men wearing white sheets? Doesn’t ring a bell?

Trump: … You know what, I think I have a bad earpiece. Anyway, like I said, I’d have to do more research on this “KKK” gang. I mean, I don’t know what group you’re talking about. You wouldn’t want me to condemn a group that I know nothing about. I would have to look.

Reporter: Let’s move on. You also have tacit endorsements from the Aryan Nation and the Bund. Do you think their support speaks to an element of racism and discrimination among your supporters?

Trump: Aryan Nation? I don’t know that nation. Never saw them on a map. Never heard of them. The only thing I know about a “nation” is that we need to make America great again. The blacks, they love me. Besides, I don’t even know what these people want.

Reporter: Well, here’s a group with a very clear mission: An endorsement from the Make America White Again movement. Their leader has said a vote for you would be “a vote for complete supremacy of the white race over all the inferior people of the world.”

Trump: I don’t know what these people stand for. The last thing I’d want to do is shoot my mouth off about something I don’t know much about.

Reporter: But it’s right there in their name. They want to make America white again. Isn’t that enough to go by? You can’t disavow them based solely on their name and rhetoric?

Trump goes silent. Then he cocks an ear to the side and stares offstage.

Trump (to empty and silent offstage area): What? What? Oh, OK. (To reporter) Gotta go. They need me. Bye.

The reporter sits stunned as Trump leaves. Suddenly, Chris Christie, who had been standing silently in the background blinking out “SOS” in Morse code, speaks in the barest whisper.  

Chris Christie: Help me. Help me … I am … in hell …