The Dumbest Librarian

When I was in about second or third grade, our class made one of its periodic trips to the school library. I’m not sure how it came up but I asked the librarian if they had any books about superheroes. “Superheroes?” she asked. “You mean, like Abraham Lincoln?” Sigh. No, I most certainly do not mean Abraham Lincoln. Like, superheroes. I mean superheroes. Did Abe Lincoln wear a cape and have a secret hideout in the Arctic? Did he smash evildoers with a Mjolnir or carve them up with adamantium claws? Did he bravely serve in the Kree–Skrull War or give his life to defeat the Anti-Monitor? Did Abraham Lincoln ever punch Hitler in the nose? Then he’s not a superhero. Usually librarians are smart people but she was the dumbest librarian I’d ever met and I don’t think I’ve met a dumber one since.