Pull up to the bumper, baby

Like many people, I have a commute that is Kafkaesque in its length and brutality. It’s stop and go for most of the 25 miles with no viable back roads. So I have a lot of time to think and I have come up with a way to ease the commute for everyone.

When stuck in a long line of traffic, some drivers seem to leave very long following distances between their cars and the cars ahead. When traffic begins to move, they will hang back and then start moving gradually and slowly. I think this only increases traffic and would like to see people start driving immediately when the way clears, leaving a normal following distance (like under half a mile).

I know why people do this. You’re clearly not going anywhere so what does it matter if you react right away to an opening ahead of you? You’re just going to stop at the red light.

This works well if you’re looking ahead of you. Do drivers every look behind? Do they see how traffic is stacking up behind them, making other drivers miss lights and causing more traffic? That’s not the result of some irresistible force like gravity. That’s the result of you not keeping up with the flow of traffic.

This is what I call the Baltimore Pike Effect. Drivers are so used to traffic on Baltimore Pike that people drive like 25 mph, regardless of the actual traffic, because they just know they won’t get to the speed limit of 40. It’s like everyone is sighing resignedly because what’s the point in trying? After all, that green light will be red. But if people just tried a little harder, maybe they could do 40 (I’ve found you can do 40 if you’re awake on this road). There are a lot of stretches like that on my commute on 202 where there’s no earthly reason to drive so slowly. Maybe everyone is just too busy doing the Serenity Prayer in needlepoint on pillows just to pull up a little quicker, and I’m sorry, but I drive two hours every day and I’m not suffering any fools.

Just. Get. On it. It’s not hard.

I once read a book a traffic engineer about traffic (called Traffic) that said drivers aren’t caught in traffic but they are traffic. So maybe I’m wrong but I just think we would all be better off if everyone got on the ball and pulled up promptly when traffic cleared ahead of them. Rush hour is a delicate dance that involves all of us being competent and then we can all get home quicker.