Pandemic Pedantry

A pandemic is the perfect time for me to be a pedant about grammar and style.

There is one very common error that bothers me, and it has to do with when people start by describing themselves with “As a person who …” and then offer an opinion. For example, this sentence is wrong: “As a mega-fan of Sheena Easton, ‘Sugar Walls’ is vastly superior to ‘Morning Train (9 to 5).’”

One reason (among many) that this declaration is wrong is that if you start by saying something like “As a,” a pronoun (or other noun as the subject of the sentence) has to follow. In the example above, “Sugar Walls” is the subject when it should be “I.” It would be correct to say, “As a mega-fan of Sheena Easton, I think ‘Sugar Walls’ is vastly superior to ‘Morning Train (9 to 5).’” You are the subject of the sentence. Everybody makes this mistake.

Another thing that bothers me is the use of the word “healthful.” It may be an accepted word but we don’t need it. What was wrong with “healthy”? Just say that. “Healthful” just sounds made up and incorrect. It’s like how people say “historical” when they could just say “historic.” The former may be correct but it sounds like someone just got the latter word wrong once and it caught on with everyone.

Don’t get me started on “ironical.”

I think “nor” should really only follow “neither.” It just sounds weird to me to say “I do not like lutefisk nor electroshock therapy.” It would be more correct to say “I like neither lutefisk nor electroshock therapy.”

“Woman” is singular. “Women” is plural. A lot of people seem to get this wrong, but nobody confuses “man” with “men.”

One more thing: Watch the use of a comma before the word “who.” If you write “Cremated parents, whose ashes have been snorted by Keith Richards, deserved better,” that implies that all cremated parents’ ashes have been snorted by Keith. Delete both commas if you want to say that he has only snorted the ashes of certain parents.

That’s enough for today. Dismissed.