Because I Died

I’ve been re-watching old episodes of Mad Men and recently Don Draper looked at a proposed ad for Hilton that featured a mouse. Don rejected the ad, saying “I don’t think people want to think of a mouse in a hotel.” That makes sense. Perhaps Nationwide should hire some kind of real-life Don Draper to review their ads because I’m not an expert but I’m pretty sure people don’t like to think of dead children when they think of insurance.

There are so many ways kids could die and during the Super Bowl the insurance company showed them all to us: Drowning in a bathtub, eating dishwasher detergent that looks like brightly-colored candy, getting crushed by a TV, etc. On a night when the commercials seemed oddly maudlin and depressing, this was the worst.

I’ve had a Nationwide policy for many years and didn’t need a ghost child to sell me a policy. I don’t know what happened here. The ad makes as much sense as not giving the ball to Marshawn Lynch at 2^nd and goal at the 1. Usually the company’s ads are so upbeat, with the soothing theme song. Why did they turn the creative reins over to the most depressed person in the world? Plenty of kids have died in horrible accidents. Did this company think it would be a good idea for the surviving family members to have to watch an ad that might have referenced their child’s demise?

Oh, but Nationwide didn’t spend $5 million just to sell insurance; the company was trying to Raise Awareness. Of all the ways kids could die. Here’s the company statement:

The sole purpose of this message was to start a conversation, not sell insurance. We want to build awareness of an issue that is near and dear to all of us-the safety and well being of our children.

Who wrote this line of bullshit, Roger Goodell? You will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever convince me that a for-profit company spent an insane amount of money during the biggest media event of the year for the “sole purpose” of starting a conversation. I might believe it of a non-profit group like the domestic violence ad that aired because they’re not implying that you buy something. There are other resources that will offer safety tips to parents for free and not sell you something on the side.

But companies like Nationwide have the primary goal of making money. You pay them and they provide a service. Sure, they might want to raise awareness of child safety but hey, while they have your attention, why not open a policy? You’re already reading the website so you might as well. Every time Coke or McDonalds or Anheuser Busch releases a heartwarming ad, the subtext will always be “pay us.” I accept that this is part of business but don’t insult people’s intelligence by expecting them to believe you spent millions with no designs on selling your product.

Nationwide notes the ad got people talking. Mission accomplished. Right now I’m talking about what a terrible ad that was.