The Days the Music Died

Kim Kardashian recently appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone and Sinead O’Connor declared it to mark the death of music. The thing with music it that it’s like a phoenix: it will always return. Here is a comprehensive list of all the times we declared music to be dead.

The first time someone played the Grease megamix at a wedding

Anytime anyone criticizes Taylor Swift as she and her art are beyond criticism

When “Macarena” began its 14^th week at #1

REO Speedwagon

That year classically trained musician Esperanza Spalding won the Best New Artist Grammy over Justin Bieber, who once pissed in a janitor’s bucket

When the first person reacted to Adele’s “Someone Like You” with anything less than inconsolable sobbing

During the first chorus of Sheena Easton’s “Morning Train”

Whenever Kanye West doesn’t get his way

August 20, 1979

Whenever someone sings “American Pie” at karaoke

The release date of “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong

Anytime people sing along with and “act out” the lyrics in “Summer Nights”

Vespertine

When Alanis Morrissette’s English teacher turned over in her grave

Any Mariah Carey key change

“Don’t Worry, Be Happy” hitting #1

The expiration date of the meat dress

When she stopped waiting another day for “The Captain of Her Heart”

When Paul McCartney sang “In this ever-changing world in which we live in”

Steely Dan winning that Grammy

The cymbal break after the line “And I’ll proudly stand up” in “God Bless the USA”

When Jewel whimpered “You’re breaking my … heart” in “Foolish Games”

Any new material PIL released

The first time Macy Gray opened her mouth to sing

Anytime someone samples a song you loved in your youth and makes it the basis for a new song

Cheer up, funny face. Music will live again.