Tough Day, Huh?

The scene is a suburban home. A 911 operator returns home to his wife after a long day at work.

911 Operator: Oh, is that dinner on the table? Hon, you’re a lifesaver.

911 Operator’s Wife: Tough day, huh?

911: Lemme tell ya. First, the Keurig broke so none of us had coffee.

Wife: Ugh. Hate that.

911: Then, Bob tells me they’re reviewing my report two days earlier than I expected so I have to throw that together. Plus, Sue was out so I had twice the volume of work.

Wife: They really should hire more people.

911: I’ve been saying that for years. Plus, traffic was a nightmare so I was all frazzled when I got there. And you wouldn’t believe the calls that came through.

Wife: Really?

911: Really. People think the stupidest things are emergencies. And some people have no class at all. You wouldn’t believe this one lady who called. The mouth on this woman!

Wife: Oh, I’ll bet.

911: This kid got shot at a party or something and the friend calls us while she’s doing CPR or whatever. And I’m just asking questions, trying to help, and she just starts cursing at me. Drops the F-bomb! Seventeen years old.

Wife: Oh … wow.

911: I tell her, “You know what? Deal with this yourself.” I’m just not paid enough to listen to all the swearing, you know?

Wife: So … what happened?

911: I don’t know. I hung up on her. (Imitates girl's voice) “Oh, don’t hang up, my friend is dying.” Well, you can call back after you collect yourself and drop the attitude.

Wife (wide-eyed): So the last thing you heard was “He’s dying” and you hung up?

911: Yes. What kind of crass society are we living in? A polite please and thank you would have been nice. When I was a kid, I would never have talked like that to anybody. I’d had a pretty rough day and the last thing I’m going to do is put up with her potty mouth.

The wife picks up her plate of spaghetti and drops it in his lap.

Wife: You’re a fucking asshole.