The Year a Rubik's Cube Defeated Me

This had to have been 1982 or 1983. I was in the Mummers Parade as a child and won second place in a juvenile category (it was a category for juveniles, not that the category itself was juvenile). The first-place winner was some kid who was dressed as a Rubik’s Cube. I was so disappointed because everyone loved my costume. I wore a big backpiece and the whole thing was sequined and feathered within an inch of its life. I walked all the way up Broad Street wearing it. And then I lose to some piker wearing a cardboard box with colored squares on each side. Was the puzzle even solved? This detail is lost to history. Oh, I’m sure the colors were real pretty and had sequins and everything. But it was still just a Rubik’s Cube. Even at age 7 or 8, I knew the Mummers judges were just jumping on the bandwagon of the hot Christmas toy and didn’t appreciate the intricacy of the well-made costume I wore. It was a lesson to a young child that some people will always hitch themselves to the latest trend and look dated, while some things are timeless. How livid I was that New Year’s Day. This undoubtedly started my whole year off under a shadow, and you could argue that I have been living under the cruel shadow of the sequined Rubik’s Cube ever since.