She wore a coat

Did you see it? She wore a coat! She was on TV when she wore the coat so everyone saw the coat. The coat looked like a regular-type overcoat but it had some sparkly details on it so everybody flipped out and nobody could stop talking about the coat. You might say her coat “broke the internet.” The coat was the most popular online thing since the last viral thing had happened, which was earlier that afternoon.

 

The coat retails for $5,000.

 

The coat was instantly iconic. America took a vote and that was the verdict. It was a cultural moment that will forever be burned on people’s retinas, like the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. Add that coat to the other instantly iconic moments we’ve lived through, like seven things that happened at the 2020 Billboard Music Awards, 13 things Demi Lovato did during her VMA performance, some clothing Rihanna wore once to Seoul, a photo a woman once took in a strawberry field, a tortilla omelet, and several other legendary things that also happened during the inauguration, better known as the Wearing of the Miu Miu Coat.

 

We will take memories of all those things to our graves—every single one of us. The world is so full of instantly iconic moments that it’s almost like everything is equally memorable regardless of quality.

 

I can say without exaggeration that it is absolutely impossible to overstate how iconic that coat was. Society is very prudent about what it labels as an instant icon. We would not say YAAAASS QUEEEEN SLAAAAY unless we were referring to the most indelible of cultural moments, up there with the moon landing. 

 

So we gave her a modeling contract. Because of the coat! The coat she wore on TV. She wore the hell out of that iconic, expensive designer coat, and that’s enough to offer someone some money! Money comes to money, and that’s America.

 

Someday, when The Coat goes into the Smithsonian, I hope people will look at it and see how a woman from an extremely prominent political family, who could afford to drop a few thou on a designer coat (or has the connections to get it for free), caught a break and got a modeling deal.