Is there too much Christmas or not enough?

I can’t tell anymore. Each side of the debate seems to disprove the other.

On one side are the people who believe Christmas is dying. We need to save Christmas! The cashier at Target wished me “Happy Holidays” and I foamed at the mouth in outrage and when I got outside the moon had turned to blood because casual greetings from strangers that only imply a holiday but don’t explicitly state it are the signs of the apocalypse! Remember when America had traditional values, etc.

Christmas is always dying, as we see from the periodic stories from, for example, a school somewhere in America with the principal who changes “Christmas break” to “Midwinter break” or “Godless Communist holiday” or whatever I’m supposed to get my panties in a bunch about this week. Because if someone stops saying “Christmas” in well-meaning deference to people who opt out of the holiday, Christmas ceases to exist and you can’t celebrate it. It just poofs out of existence. Thus we take up our pitchforks and Defend Christmas, our outrage singing like a Christmas carol.

What disproves this argument is the fact that Christmas is everywhere. It gets its red and green in every crevice for three months every year. On Nov. 1, the Halloween candy disappeared from Acme and the Christmas stuff went up, because nobody can afford to waste a day in the quest for wrapping paper. Black Friday stores open while people are still eating Thanksgiving apple pie so people can buy discount electronics. The Hallmark Channel had a countdown to a countdown to Christmas. Even the countdown is something that needs hyping today.

This isn’t anything new, either. For years now, the airwaves have been full of Christmas TV specials and entire radio stations turn over their playlists so we can all be graced with the 2,357^th consecutive artist’s “personal take” on “White Christmas.” These are not the signs of a holiday that is disappearing. People get outraged that the hype starts earlier every year.

Or maybe it is the looming extinction of Christmas that we’re supposed to be outraged about. Maybe we’re supposed to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace while being completely combative and miserable about it.

Wake me up when there’s a ruling on this. I’ll be trying to relax with a glass of eggnog and playing Christmas songs while decorating our tree at a seasonally appropriate time.