Failure Means You Failed

I forget exactly where we were recently (maybe the rest stop on our trip?) when I saw a knickknack that said something like “Failure means you tried.”

I have some questions. When is it ever appropriate to give such a knickknack to someone? Is there any way the message “Failure means you tried” can be anything but a backhanded compliment? You may be trying to make someone feel better about failure but you’re still calling attention to the fact that the person failed.

Also, where would one display such a knickknack? What, are you going to put it up at work so everyone who walks by your desk can see the word “failure” in an inspirational font? Do you really want coworkers to associate you, even subliminally, with the word “failure”?

I guess I see the point in giving this to kids to encourage them, and I do see the overall message that you shouldn’t give up. Like, maybe Faulkner’s work was rejected by several publishers or Einstein’s theories didn’t pan out at first, etc.

However, I disagree that failure always means you tried. For some dopey ding-a-lings out there, “trying” is like when a little kid tries to reach for a remote on the end table but won’t move from the chair to get it. He just wiggles his fingers and groans and says “It’s too far!” It’s cute when a kid does this but not for an able-bodied, able-minded adult. We’ve all seen this with drivers, customer service, etc.

Yeah, don’t give up. But “Failure means you tried” can enable incompetent behavior. I’m thinking of that person who screwed up (again) but “doesn’t let it get to me.” He slaps on a dimwitted smile and doesn’t think about it again. There, there: You just dig into that bowl of strawberry ice cream and look at that inspirational pencil holder of failure and keep not improving. You shouldn’t let your mistakes tear you apart but sometimes you need to let something get to you to spur you to competence.

Failure does mean you tried but you know what else means you tried? Success. Sometimes failure just means you failed.