In the spirit of
rebranding, I’ve decided to REBRAND. Much like Facebook has rebranded as FACEBOOK,
this blog will now be known as RANTS AND RUMINATIONS.
Why am I YELLING? I’m NOT.
It’s just that an ALL-CAPS logo is FRESH and EXCITING and will turn everything AROUND
for me and gain me scores OF readers for both my RANTS and my RUMINATIONS. As
FACEBOOK (formerly Facebook) has SHOWN us, why DO market research to find out
WHAT your USERS want when you can HIGHLIGHT the name of your COMPANY and click
on “UPPERCASE”?
Companies CAPITALIZE
non-acronyms all the TIME and it’s successful AS hell. It’s like, sure, you’ll
buy Oreos because they’re TASTY. But if the company insists in press releases
that THE cookies be known as OREOS, you’ll rush out to BUY them FASTER.
This REBRAND will help
me in other WAYS. Like FACEBOOK, I often lose all the DATA of my USERS (both of
YOU). This ALL-caps approach will help me KEEP data SAFER and make for a BETTER
user experience. I have also been ACCUSED, like FACEBOOK, of abetting a RUSSIAN
disinformation program to INFLUENCE the result of a federal ELECTION. Holding
down the SHIFT key will solve this problem PERMANENTLY, and I hope I never have
to TESTIFY before Congress AGAIN.
IN CONCLUSION: UPPERCASE
= INSTANT TURNAROUND.
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