Deaditor

When I die, whatever you do, make sure there is an en dash on my grave. Not for the editor a simple hyphen to mark the range between birth and death. No, make sure they hit option + hyphen (or whatever the equivalent for carving granite) when they memorialize me.

 

Be sure to put periods in R.I.P. since it’s an acronym that spells out a word. Otherwise, that tender “Rest in Peace” becomes simply, “Rip Brian McCurdy.”

 

Also, it’s “Here lies,” not “lays.” I didn’t spend decades with a red pen for a mistaken transitive verb to mark my final resting place.

 

Just please, be sure of that en dash—eg, 1974­–2072, or however long I lingered here, correcting “less” into “fewer” and pointing out who implies and who infers. I will be at peace if you honor me with that one simple mark of punctuation.

 

(And don’t go nuts and do an em dash, either.)