The Trail

It’s a beautiful day. I’m headed out for my daily lunchtime walk at the trail near our office. It’s beautiful but that beauty has its own hidden hazards. On the trail, it’s easier to walk when everyone is walking at the same pace, roughly in sync, so everybody has a buffer in front of and behind them. On an April day in the 80ºs, more people than usual are out and they’re all walking at different paces. Take this guy right in front of me. He’s walking a dog. Right now he’s a comfortable distance ahead of me but soon the dog will have to pee and he’ll slow down. And right on cue, here we go—he and the dog stop by the side of the trail. It’s not number 1, it’s number 2, so they stop for longer than I expected. I’m coming up on them quickly at my pace and right before I get up to where they are, they start moving. But he’s checking his phone so now they’re just slightly slower than me so very quickly, I’m almost breathing down this guy’s neck. So I have to speed up my pace just a little so I can pass on the left. It’s very annoying since I have to do sort of a power walk—regular walking won’t cut it and I’d look like an idiot if I just jog past this guy for a few feet and then resume my normal fat-guy walking pace. It’s also tricky because I have to pass on the left by being aware of the bikes and runners passing me on the left, as well as the opposing traffic. So I push my medial tibia and pass him, then resume normal speed when I’m farther away, so he’s not on my ass. Whew! Now I can relax and walk normally. But then look at these two ahead of me. They’re just out for a chatty walk, all day to kill, stopping and starting and spreading out over both lanes of the trail, unconcerned about any bicyclists who might need to pass them, like the only piece of the world that needs consideration is what’s right in front of their face. Now they’re just stopping completely, I guess to admire something on the side of the trail. Woo, underbrush! Look, honey—underbrush! They resume walking but are slower than me so I’m coming up behind them pretty quickly. I have to pass so I speed up a little and do it. They seem to flinch when I come up on their left as if startled or offended. But what options did I have? Would they rather I match their pace behind them and hover like a stalker? I mean, my Polo shirt and khaki pants say “middle-aged office schlub walking on his lunch break” so I don’t think I look like a threat but of course, people can’t be too careful. Sigh—this was much easier in February when I had this trail to myself—when I was apparently the only person who realized that with the aid of something called a “coat,” you could still go for a walk, rather than wait for the temperature to get above 70º and crowd this trail. I walk on until I get to the next obstacle. It’s a beautiful day.