I had the most judgmental dream

I dreamed that I got a Christmas card dated April 26 from some family named the Clearys that we apparently knew in the dream world. I was insulted that they would not only send a Christmas card as late as April but that they would acknowledge it by putting a date on the card.

I tend to judge that sort of thing. I am mostly laissez-faire about manners but a few things bother me and I turn into a prim Victorian woman. If you can’t get your Christmas cards out by Christmas, don’t bother.

The card had a long note that someone in the family drowned one of their kids. This is not normally the sort of thing one expects to read in a Christmas card. It’s usually more along the lines of positive things that happened during the previous year, like graduations and vacations, not child murder. You’d think I would have heard of that tragic case on the news and wouldn’t need an update in a card saying my friend had killed someone. I guess that’s why they sent the card in April — the Clearys were probably busy with mourning and court appearances.

I tend to judge that sort of thing, too — drowning a child. Sometimes you’ll heard about something horrible and someone will warn you not to judge but I think sometimes there’s nothing wrong with a little righteous judgment.

I think of when that guy witnessed the child rape in the Penn State showers and didn’t tackle Jerry Sandusky. Some people said, “Don’t judge because you don’t know how you’d act in that situation.” One might say the same thing about the guy at the Dark Knight Rises shooting who left his girlfriend and child to escape. He drove off and didn’t come back until she called him, so for all he knew she and the kid were dead.

Fair enough: You really don’t know how you’re going to act in a traumatic situation. But if I ever act like an ass and leave kids in harm’s way, judge me. Judge the shit out of me. I’d deserve it.