Are you done your Valentine's Day shopping yet?

Whew! I’m thrilled to report to everyone that I am finally done my shopping for Valentine’s Day!

 

Yeah, I was a little late getting it done this year but sometimes, life interferes. I started as early as possible. I woke up early the day after Christmas and was banging on the door of the supermarket waiting for them to open so I could buy the candy hearts they had just put out in place of the Christmas stuff. The employees looked a little annoyed but I won’t apologize—there were only 51 shopping days until Valentine’s Day and that really isn’t as much time as you’d think.

 

So I rushed right in as they opened the supermarket and bought as many boxes of chocolate and candy hearts as they had. I did see a few errant Christmas candies that I guess the supermarket employees didn’t have enough time to clear out (not to complain, but they did have plenty of notice that Dec. 26 was coming!) and I considered buying a few because they were half-price and wrapped in red foil, so they could double as Valentine’s Day candies. But I decided against it. Christmas candies are no substitute for Valentine’s Day and should be thrown in the trash immediately when Dec. 25 ends.

 

I only got a dozen or so candies from the store that day so I had to go elsewhere to complete my haul of heart-shaped boxes. Like many people, I have a very large Valentine’s shopping list consisting of a few dozen loved ones so it takes a long time to buy for everyone. I spend at least $100 per person on candy and stuffed teddy bears and greeting cards.

 

I had to go to so many stores but last Friday, I finally bought the last of my Valentine’s Day haul! I spread all the candy hearts out under the still-blinking Christmas tree and just sat and enjoyed the sight of them. Now I get to sit back and relax for the next five weeks until the big day, Feb. 14, finally arrives. I’ll laugh at all those idiots who think they can just start shopping in February, like it’s nothing.

 

And on Feb. 15, all those red hearts on supermarket shelves go into the incinerator and it’s onto Easter! I’ll rest up now for that lengthy shopping odyssey.