Memo to the Person Who Screamed Throughout the Tori Amos Concert

Your (I’m assuming drunken) screaming throughout the concert certainly added a bit of “local color,” a bit of “flair,” a bit of “je ne sais quoi,” if you will, to a concert that is basically one woman playing the piano and singing. Your garbled cries of “I love you, Tori!” or simply the timeless “Woooo!” really added something to our enjoyment of the quiet ballads and emotional moments.

They added something, alright, but that something turned out to be kind of aggravating. You were far enough away from us in the Kimmel Center that you didn’t bother us as much as you could have. I like reasonable enthusiasm during concerts as long as that doesn’t infringe on anybody else’s enjoyment. Nobody likes the guy who dances over the entire floor space or the couple who grinds all over one another like they’re the only people in the world. But I don’t mind dancing and singing along and cheering at shows. I’ve been one of those people.

But, sir or madam, this was a Tori Amos concert. As much as she has a powerful voice and instrument that can fill the room, this was not a Manowar show or something where the music is so loud and people are screaming so much that nobody will notice one more yell. At Tori shows, people tend to applaud and scream rapturously between songs but are relatively quiet while the songs play. It’s just that kind of atmosphere and it’s no secret that the shows are that way. There are a few scattered whoops but didn’t you notice you were the only one who was screaming almost continuously? Learn to pick up on a social cue.

Maybe you were just going for irony by shrieking your face off during Tori’s “Silent All These Years,” a song about a woman finding her tentative voice after a period of silence. Maybe this was a different kind of art you were making to supplement the art on stage and this was all an elaborate statement about the relationship between the performer and audience.

More likely, you were just drunk and deliberately calling attention to yourself. We could tell you were kind of “doing a voice” and purposely doing that thing where it sounds shrill and like you’re shredding your throat. Your infantile caterwauling didn’t bother me so much as the clear idea that you were just trying to get people to look at you. Sir or madam, nobody cared about you during that concert. You can conduct yourself like an adult and adhere to a social norm. It actually is possible.

It actually became kind of funny as the night went on. Tori would start a song and we would look in the direction of the screamer and wait for his or her take in the form of a “Yeahhrrraahheewwwaahhhh!!!!” Only then, with that glass-shattering approval from the balcony, could we fully appreciate what Tori was trying to say. She had a blessing to continue playing.

It was really more amusing than annoying to me since we were some distance away. Thank God I wasn’t next to this person. If I had been, I would have just told him or her to shut the fuck up.