The People You See at the Gym in Early January

One Saturday in early January, she walks in wearing sunglasses nearly as big as her head to shield her from the light of the picture window next to the machines. She puts her huge designer handbag next to the elliptical runner and starts to work out. The velour sweatsuit not only helps her move but also looks great, which of course you need to do at the gym. I never see her again.

The family browses around the equipment, looking for something that will suit them, all chatty and smiling. The teenager settles on walking up and down one of those step machines. The mother takes the step machine next to her and they laugh and talk. Another 45 minutes of that and they might break a sweat. I never see them again.

He saunters on the treadmill while around him they call out numbers because so many people on the first Monday night in January are waiting for machines. I finally get on next to him. He seems lost in his book. Maybe the story is so good that he is unaware his sustained speed is slower than my warm-up speed. When he gets home, he’ll proudly tell someone he was on the treadmill for two miles, neglecting to mention that it took him an hour. I never see him again.

The two women next to me are lucky to have found two treadmills next to each other so they can talk. And talk and talk and talk. They are loud. They are so loud they drown out all the white noise and the sound of my iPod, the volume of which I have already turned as high as I can comfortably stand it. They are probably making a pact to exercise together every night after work. Unless, of course, it snows, or rains, or someone has to stay late, or the friend doesn’t go so there’s no point in you going, or you just have one of those “ugh” days and can’t do it, you know what I mean? I never see them again.

It’s a “judgment-free zone” but Planet Fitness cannot police my thoughts.