The scene is President Trump’s bedroom
in the White House. The president sprawls on his bed in a bathrobe, opening
RSVPs from the Eagles Super Bowl team to visit the White House. Sean Hannity
sits nearby.
Trump (sighing):
Another no.
Hannity: What box did this guy check off?
Trump: “Because you called us SOBs.” Man,
that’s like the 12th one. These ungrateful sons of bitches.
Hannity: Seriously.
Trump: It seems like all of them are
responding the same way.
Hannity: Not quite, Mr. President. A few have
checked off the box that says “Because you said we shouldn’t be in this
country.”
Trump: You know, I didn’t take all that
penicillin during the Vietnam War just for these guys to …
An aide interrupts.
Aide: Excuse me, sir, but there’s a briefing on the economic
consequences of the steel tariffs.
Trump: What? Send me a pie chart. This is
more important. What was I saying?
Hannity: The Eagles.
Trump: Right. (Yells offstage) Mel? Hey, Mel?
No answer.
Hannity: Sir, we may just have to cancel the
Eagles’ visit.
Trump (sighing): But,
if we cancel it, do I win or do I lose? That’s what we have to keep our eye on
here.
Hannity: You win. You always win.
Trump pokes his head out into the
hallway outside. Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Mike Pence are
blowing up midnight-green balloons.
Trump: Sorry, folks. Party’s off.
They groan and trudge away.
CURTAIN
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