Backlash to the Backlash to the Backlash of #PSL

America is divided once again. It seems like for the past few years, the country has been toxically polarized by so many pressing issues. And now, it seems I must take sides.

The issue: Is it too early to drink pumpkin spice latte?

I really don’t care. I don’t drink these, am not sure if I’ve ever had PSL from Starbucks or somewhere else, and don’t have much interest in pumpkin. Yet a backlash rages in this country on the exact timing of the release of a seasonal beverage, and I must work myself up to join a side. Do I support the backlash to the late August release of pumpkin spice, or do I support the backlash to the backlash?

On one side, yes, it was rather hot at the end of August and it was disconcerting to see the stores carry a food substance derived from the spices of the pumpkin, which is not yet in season. I suppose I have not been as livid as I should have been about this agricultural revisionism. Do I want to join the backlash against PSL appearing so early? Shall I march with this faction?

Or do I want to join the backlash to the backlash? Should I be more florid with outrage at the shaming of people about their latte choices, or the vicious misogyny inherent in dismissing seasonal beverages? Who should I be yelling at here? Tell me and I will start making protest signs.

Perhaps there is another phenomenon I have not yet considered: The backlash to the backlash to the backlash. This might be people who think PSL comes out too late, and should have been served in the spring.

Regardless, I must choose my side soon—before we all start screaming about Christmas—and start getting apoplectic about something I don’t have much interest in one way or the other.