Tastes Like a Sweater

Ahhhh, fall. Autumn! A gorgeous time of year. The season that comes in between bitching about the heat and moaning about the cold. There are so many beautiful fall traditions in my life and I want to share all of them with you. All of them.

Fall officially begins at our house when I place the Official Autumnal Tablecloth on our dining room table. It has leaves and acorns and everything on it. Steve and I lay this out on the table with great ceremony (and we are thrilled to pass the beautiful tradition down to our son!) like one would unfurl an American flag. Then we sing the official Song of Fall, “The Next Time I Fall” by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant. Usually we fake-fight about who takes which vocal part—it’s all part of the fun! This sacred ceremony takes place at precisely the beginning of meteorological fall. So whether it’s the middle of the night or middle of a school and work day, we rearrange our schedules to gather together.

What would fall be without a drink to warm us on chilly days? We celebrate the season of autumn with frequent drinks of apple cider mixed with hot chocolate. Mmm—tastes like a sweater!

Gourds are a very important part of fall, of course. When the season begins, we clear the house of all the old gourds, which have been there since the previous autumnal equinox, to make way for new gourds. Everyone who comes in the house is encouraged to write or carve their favorite thing about fall into these gourds.

Fall foliage is gorgeous, so we usually take off the entire month of October to seek it out. We’ll look up photos of pretty trees around the country and drive to those specific trees, from coast to coast. Also, I really love the smell of burning leaves. I love it so much, in fact, that I will take a flamethrower to trees in the park and just burn them right there. It’s much more efficient and it provides the most pungent smell.

We like to go to Linvilla Orchards and roll around in the hay for hours. We’ll get caramel-covered apples, smear them all over our faces and then roll around in the leaves. It really immerses us in autumn. We buy a ton of pumpkins, as many as we can fit in our car, and take them home for the traditional carving and use in prognostication rituals. 

“But wait,” you say, “aren’t you leaving out pumpkin spice, one of the things most associated with fall?”

Rest assured, I am not. The thing is, I don’t drink pumpkin spice lattes or anything like that. I snort pumpkin spice. I just pour out fat lines of that magic blend of spices and snort it all, and it’s like I can see God.

Happy fall!