Ping

I signed up to get breaking news alerts from CNN. With the election, COVID-19 and all the general 2020 chaos, I figured it might come in handy to find out any important information that breaks.

 

The thing is, my definition does not always match CNN’s definition of breaking news that we need to hear immediately. A few times the app has woken me up with the telltale ping right before my alarm goes off at 6 a.m. So a few possibilities raced through my hazy mind:

 

Is there a vaccine?

 

Is there yet another hurricane, which they had to call Hurricane Aleph because they also ran out of Greek letters?

 

Did Betty White go to the Great Lanai in the Sky?

 

Did the burned-down rubble on the West Coast burn down too?

 

Is he dead?

 

Are we having a snow squall?

 

No. CNN felt I needed to know immediately that Louise Glück won the Nobel Prize for Literature. In Scandinavia, they’re giving out Nobels at a more civilized hour, probably gazing out at fjords as they do it, but on the East Coast, it’s before dawn.

 

I’ve heard of Louise Glück but never read her poetry. I probably will do that but the thing is, it could have at least waited until after coffee.