Memo to the Person Who Stole My Wallet

I sincerely hope something bad happened to you after you used my credit cards to go on a $3,000 shopping spree at the Christiana Mall. I hope some kind of karma, legal or otherwise, catches up with you. There’s a special level of hell for the degenerates who do this sort of thing.

I was at Planet Fitness yesterday when someone cut the lock on my locker and stole my wallet out of my bag. They had replaced my lock with their own and also taken someone else’s wallet in the same manner. I always figured I was safer keeping my wallet in a locker than my car but even on a crowded Sunday afternoon, someone was able to do this. My locker was securely locked, too. I always yank on the locker to see since sometimes it doesn’t close all the way.

The person or people went right to the mall, charged $2,300 at Nordstrom’s and debited my account $700 at Macys (they also tried to charge more at Macys but got declined). This all happened within one hour. I was working out from about noon to 12:35 or so (thank God I cut it short because I was tired) and by the time I discovered the theft, called the police and called the bank, it was 1:05 and they had already spent my money.

I canceled my credit cards and debit cards right away so the damage was minimal and I’m not liable. I don’t carry all my plastic with me in case something like this happens. I also called Steve right away and he transferred all my money into our joint account, which the thief could not access since he doesn’t have that card. I know they don’t have my PIN but I wanted to be safe. They still got $700 before we could move but I should get it back.

I called Nordstrom’s to complain to the manager that someone was able to charge $2,300 and nobody asked for ID. She told me they usually ask for ID for purchases over $1,000 but I guess nobody did. I mean, the person could have presented my ID but that person doesn’t look like me and can’t replicate my signature. There were probably red flags that the cashiers ignored. Given the chronology, the thief must have raced to the mall and probably picked out something (jewelry? Several suits off the rack?) and charged it in a hurry. The mall isn’t far but they still were able to go down there, park and go to two stores and that tells me the person was probably in a hurry and the employees should have known something was up.

Now I’m driving without a license. The police told me I could do this temporarily and if I got stopped, I could just give them the report number. The DMV was on a two-hour delay today so I’ll have to go tomorrow.

The immediate danger is over but there’s always the threat of identity theft. Luckily, I know someone who knows a little about credit reports. Lucky also that I don’t carry around my Social Security card.

So this sucks. At least I can take some comfort in the bigger picture that I have earned a stellar credit rating and can buy my own merchandise. This dirtbag is reduced to hanging around the locker room with bolt cutters. My response when the bank asked me if I would press charges if they catch the guy? “Yes. Oh, hell yes.”