Don't Split My Infinitive

The irony of it is the mistake hinged on the incorrect placement of “correctly.” The word invaded the middle of the headline, tragically split apart from its other infinitive half. I, of course, had placed it at the end of things where it belonged and where a generation ago, the nuns had taught me it belonged.

“Don’t split the infinitive” was the ancient lesson. I heeded it then and these days, when I barely remember what I walked upstairs for, I still hang onto that correct syntax. I am annoying in my insistence.

So, zeroing in past the bigger questions of clinical accuracy and professional relevance, I unite “to” with the straggler “correctly” as nature and those nuns decreed, almost pathetically proud of my vigilance.

The power above me breaks the iron-clad laws of grammar and divorces my verb from its infinitive form. We let it slide for Star Trek going boldly but I thought we had higher standards here.

Call me late. Call me lazy. Call me out. But please don't split my infinitive.