Don't make us feel older than we already do

I was reading an article (for some reason) about Britney Spears that noted that she has had a music career for 20 years now. This not only made me feel older than I already do but the math here is inaccurate. “Baby One More Time” (I will not use the stupid ellipses in the title) debuted on the radio at the end of 1998 and hit number 1 in early 1999. The album came out in early 1999. That’s not even 18 years. The article mentions something about 1997 and maybe her career germinated then with some demos but basically Britney has been in the public eye since 1999 (besides, 1997 was also not 20 years ago). That’s when I remember her starting. Let’s call it 17 years from 1999 to 2016. Maybe in a few months I’ll give you 18.

Once in awhile I’ll read an article that fudges an anniversary number and it’s obnoxious. Twenty years ago it was 1996, not 1997 or 1998 or 1999. Nineteen ninety-six. A 17-year-old is not the same as a 20-year-old so a 17-year anniversary is not the same as a 20-year anniversary. What, were they trying to get a jump on the Britney anniversary articles?

Never round up. If you’re 37, you are not 40. You are 37. Don’t tell me 1999 was 20 years ago. Please don’t.

I also don’t like hearing things like “the 32^nd season of Survivor.” Yes, there have been 32 seasons of the show but it’s only been on since 2000. There are multiple seasons every year so this seems like a cheat and makes the show seem more venerable than it really is.

I find that years that are long in the past have different characteristics and signifiers from each other. The Michael Jackson red leather jackets of 1983 are different than the Swatches of 1986. The acid-wash jeans and Latin girl pop of 1989 are different then the flannel and grunge of 1992. Each belongs to its era and the years of your youth are very singular. A few years can make a very big difference in pop culture so I don’t like anachronisms or fudging numbers.

This only applies to youth. I couldn’t tell you what the pop culture differences are between 2007 and 2010.