Brian's Comprehensive Winter Weather Forecast

This time of year, when rain threatens to turn into snow, some news organizations give winter weather forecasts for the entire season. I guess the purpose would be to tell people whether or not they should buy an extra set of worry beads in case they wear out the first set while looking out the window at the snooooowww.

Well, how hard can it be to predict the weather this winter? I want to get into the act. Here’s how I think the winter of 2016-17 will unfold.

December will start out relatively mild with high temperatures in the 50s. Things will gradually turn colder and there will be a morning or two of flurries. Christmas week will bring colder weather, with a mix of sun, clouds and chilly rain.

January will bring us two or three snowstorms of varying amounts, perhaps a few inches each. Look for it to be colder, with at least a week of low temperatures below freezing. In the third week of the month, it will be particularly cold. There will be a few days of sun and thawing interspersed, as well as at least one day that feels like early spring. One day will feature wind. Another will feature fog.

February will be snowier. On Feb. 9, the day will start bleak and cold, with a thin layer of white clouds overlaying us like a bedspread. There will be only a few breaks of sun before the clouds turn to a color of dark slate. Around noon, the wind will begin to rise, carrying the scent of snow and a feel of dampness that reaches through winter coats to penetrate into bones. The snow will begin to fall at midday, first in big, tentative flakes that look almost cartoon-like. It will soon fall faster, covering the blacktop like mayo on pumpernickel bread, until the air is thick with white doom. The highways will mostly be deserted, as schools and most business will have closed hours earlier. Seven inches will fall. The snow will continue into the evening. It will remain the next day but by the day after that, will become slushy as the temperatures rise above freezing during the day. In a week, most of the snow will be gone.

March will come in like a lion, with another snow event and some windy days. The month will go out like a lamb, with temperatures in the 50s and 60s.

And there you have it. Plan accordingly, everybody.