So much for that

As you may have heard, we had been pursuing a child for adoption recently but got the news that DFS has decided to go with another family who would best meet the child’s needs. Apparently there was some competition for him.

We’re disappointed, of course, but trying to stay hopeful. My default in most situations is despair so I’m trying not to let my mind slip into that groove. We only did get officially approved to adopt at the end of September so it’s not as if we’ve been on the waiting list for years or something.

Here’s the process as I understand it. We get periodic lists of kids in the foster care system who are available for adoption in Delaware (they can also search outside the state). We literally get a spreadsheet of information on kids who fit our criteria. When we’re interested in a child, we get some more information and a photo. Then DFS determines if we are a match. Then our caseworker makes the case for us to some kind of permanency committee. Then we have visits of increasing lengths with the child: A few hours at the foster family’s house, then overnight, then a weekend, etc. Transitions can be slow because if a kid is in school, they try to time them so they’re on a school break.

It’s kind of an odd feeling and messes with my sense of time. We’ve only been given the go-ahead for just over a month but we started taking classes in January and we were planning and discussing it before that so it’s in a sense hard to say how long we’ve been waiting. I’m encouraged that we at least had a viable child soon after our home study. I’m faithful that it will happen (hopefully before someone mistakes me for the kid’s grandfather) but it’s one of those “thou shalt not know the day or hour” things.

Despite our disappointment, we’re happy that this child may have found his parents, even if they’re not us.