Kale Is Dead

The taste of kale is fine. I’ve just had to eat enough of it lately and so that particular green is dead to me, at least for a time.

Steve and I do Blue Apron sometimes and it just seems like they’re always serving me kale. It’s just too much. It’s in calzones and polenta and all sorts of other stuff. I won’t vomit at the site of kale but I just don’t need a metric ton of it. I can live without it if there’s a bunch of other stuff in a dish. I know they’re adding it as a filler for certain dishes but why does that filler always have to be kale? Why not mushrooms or potatoes? All those ingredients are equally cheap and plentiful.  

Blue Apron also used to use cauliflower very frequently and I don’t care for cauliflower so it got aggravating. Cauliflower in pasta or pizza? Pass.

I’ve seen restaurants serve cauliflower that looks like Buffalo wings, with the sauce and everything. You might think I might eat this, given my love of Buffalo wings but this Potemkin village food is a cruel tease: “You’ll love this food that looks like something you like but is actually something you don’t like!” What’s next?

“It looks like scrambled eggs but it’s actually creamed corn!”

“It looks like a Reese’s peanut butter cup but it’s actually a hot dog stuffed with haggis!”

“It looks like chocolate ice cream but it’s actually broccoli-flavored circus peanuts!”

“It looks like a sirloin steak but it’s actually a live crab smothered in green peppers!”

Is this what we are becoming as a society, one that plays food tricks on people?