Can’t talk now. Too busy looking at tuxes and wedding cakes.

So I’m happy that President Obama supports gay marriage but also cautious. It’s reassuring to know that, whatever actual influence the president has on state laws, someone in high office has your back. On the other hand, this could turn into a shitstorm before the election, since Mitt Romney opposes gay marriage.

Of course, Obama could have condemned gay marriage, which would have been a source of despair. So it could have been worse.

I am dreading the prospect of gay marriage turning into a tornado of discussion for the next six months. This isn’t just a political issue for us; so many aspects of life hinge on whether or not we can marry. Marriage or civil union affects practical issues like end of life decisions, inheritance and taxation and also intangible issues like the pride of being able to call someone your husband.

This is why it kills me when people argue that gay marriage would destroy the country or whatever. It has no tangible or intangible effect whatsoever on people if Steve and I, who have been in a relationship for almost a decade, want to declare our vows on the beach in Rehoboth. However, if we are barred from doing that, it would definitely have a harmful effect on us. What do you want us to do, cancel everything? I don’t know what to tell ya.

Anyway, that’s why I say, if you are opposed to gay marriage, then don’t marry someone of the same sex, but don’t forbid me from doing so. People argue about protecting the institution of marriage and that’s noble. But being in your own marriage or relationship is enough work that we all have our hands full trying to protect our own unions without worrying about anyone else’s. If we all just worried about strengthening our own bonds, and didn’t worry about the Joneses, then maybe the world really would be a better place. In other words, there’s no need to Save Marriage. Just save your marriage.

I’m wary of this issue, which is so personal, becoming a political football but I suppose I should get in line with everybody else to complain. Pretty much every personal issue, from civil rights to religious freedom to reproductive issues, has been a political football. So I’ll join the club.

The ultimate sign of progress is that we’re able to have a civil union. To people who are opposed to this, I guess I say, “Can’t talk now. Too busy looking at tuxes and wedding cakes.”