Ladies and gentlemen, welcome your Philadelphia Fly76ers!

The scene is the locker room of the Wells Fargo Center where the Flyers are preparing for game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinals. Suddenly, in walk the 76ers.

Danny Briere: Can we help you?

Evan Turner: Yeah, we’re … we’re getting ready for game 2. What are you guys doing here?

Elton Brand: This is May 1, right?

Briere: Yeah, and we’re playing at 7:30. Flyers-Devils, game 2.

Turner: So are we, 7:30 tonight. I just saw the Bulls’ bus pull into the parking lot.

Claude Giroux: Wonderful. Just wonderful. What now?

Enter Flyers coach Peter Laviolette and Sixers coach Doug Collins, along with a scheduling assistant from the Wells Fargo Center.

Peter Laviolette: What the fuck?

Doug Collins: Not again. I thought we had this all scheduled out. (To assistant) You said the Flyers were in New Jersey tonight so we’d play the Bulls at home.

Scheduling Assistant: That’s right because the Flyers were … oh, wait … (shuffles papers) I was looking at the spreadsheet for game 3 …

Laviolette: This is fucking bullshit. Can’t anybody do anything right? What the fuck are we supposed to do now?

Collins: We have no choice, Lavy. The Sixers and the Flyers are just going to have to play (jump chord) at the same time.

The Wells Fargo staff goes to work. Over the next three hours, they somehow create a hybrid stadium: Half ice, half hardwood court. The stands are filled with people wearing T-shirts and jerseys of four professional sports teams. Half the fans’ seats are occupied by fans of the other sport and those who cannot get seats angrily crowd the steps. Shortly before 7:30, team introductions begin.

Flyers Announcer and 76ers Announcer (simultaneously): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome your Philadelphia Fly76ers!

Both teams move into their respective positions. Then the Bulls crowd next to the Sixers on the court and the Devils cram into half an ice rink. The players look very confused and angry. Tip off begins at the same time as the puck drops. The Flyers skate around but go a little too far off the ice, which results in Wayne Simmonds skating onto the basketball court. His skates tear up the wood and he crashes into Jrue Holiday, who is in the middle of passing the ball. Knocked off course, Holiday’s ball careens all the way across the ice and gets past goalie Martin Brodeur to score. The goal horn sounds momentarily but is cut off. Flyers fans cheer but then stop with an audible “huh?” The referees of both sports take the court/ice.

Referee: According to the rules, a basketball cannot count as a goal. However, the Bulls will get a free throw.

All Philadelphia fans scream. The Zamboni comes out in confusion and starts refreshing the ice and polishing the floor.

Broadcaster: In all my years, I’ve never seen anything like this, folks. This is worse than when they double-booked the Vet for the 1980 World Series and Mike Schmidt’s home run hit Ron Jaworski in the head!