Food?

I have a few questions about food.

I don’t really get the idea behind wraps. My God, they’re everywhere. Walk down Main Street in Newark and it’s like the Wrap District. Every restaurant is pita. The name of every place has a poetic variation available on “wrap” or “pita.” I don’t get the idea behind wraps. I’ll just take regular bread with my sandwich, thanks. I guess the idea is that wraps are healthier than bread but I don’t eat out often enough to have some critical mass of bread so I can afford some tasty bread when I go out. Wraps to me have the appeal of cardboard. I also don’t like the messiness of wraps. I can’t stand food that falls all over the place so I’m not eating some drippy mess wrapped in pita. I’m not a big fan of sandwiches for dinner anyway. I think it’s funny how people think wrapping the same crap in pita makes it healthier. That Big Mac is the same toxic shit no matter what it’s wrapped in. The bread isn’t why you’re fat.

What is a “gastropub”? Isn’t it just a bar that serves food? Or a restaurant with a liquor license? Doesn’t that describe pretty much every establishment? It seems to me that it’s just a way to get people to consider a non-exceptional experience as exceptional. “Woo! This new gastropub, the Hipster’s Beard in Northern Liberties, serves high-end hamburgers and microbrewed beer! Totally different from a regular bar or restaurant! I’ll pay a premium for that!”

I am not at all a foodie so a lot of high-end foods are lost on my. My palate just isn’t sophisticated enough. I also could never be a restaurant reviewer because I have this inability to identify tastes and smells. I would eat something and only be able to say “it tastes good” without identifying what “it” is.

Is it lunchtime yet?