Wednesday, August 14, 2013

That's What Friends Are For: A Short Play Starring Dionne and Friends


Scene One
Dionne Warwick is in the hospital awaiting gall bladder surgery and it’s not looking good for her. Her longtime friends — Stevie Wonder, Gladys Knight and Elton John — gather around for a final goodbye before Warwick undergoes the knife.

Dionne (in a halting voice full of emotion): And I never thought I’d feel this way … and as far as I’m concerned I'm glad I've got the chance to say … that I do believe I love you.

Gladys begins to cry softly. Elton puts an arm around her shoulder.

Dionne: And if I should ever go away — well then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today … and then if you can remember, keep smiling. Keep shining, knowing you can always count on me … for sure. That’s what friends are for.

The doctors wheel Dionne into the operating room while the friends wave goodbye.

Scene Two
Dionne’s surgery is successful and she has a new lease on life. Right after her release from the hospital, the four friends go to a bar to celebrate by getting hammered.

Dionne (wasted on her third margarita, standing unsteadily and making a toast): For good times and bad times I’ll be on your side forever more. That’s what friends are for.

The four clink glasses. Dionne slumps back down in her chair.

Stevie: Well, you came and opened me and now there’s so much more I see and so by the way I thank you.

Stevie gives Dionne a big, sloppy hug. The two nearly fall over.

Elton: Whoa! And then for the times when we’re apart — well then close your eyes and know these words are coming from my heart and then if you can remember, oh …

Stevie: Keep smiling. Keep shining, knowing you can always count on me for sure. That’s what friends are for. In good times and bad times I’ll be on your side forever more. Oh, that’s what friends are for.

They all do a shot of 151 rum. Elton vomits onto the table. Moved by her friends’ love, as well as blind drunk, Gladys stands on the table to speak.

Gladys: Oh, keep smiling. Keep shining, knowing you can always count on me for sure. That’s what friends are for. For good times and bad times I’ll be on your side forever more.

Gladys falls over, breaking a chair. Dionne picks her up.

Gladys: That’s what friends are for.

Elton (screaming): Keep smiling! Keep shining! Knowing you can always count on me — oh for sure. Cause I’ll tell ya …

All: That’s what friends are for.

Elton raises his arm in a toast and accidentally knocks over a passing waiter. A dozen glasses full of booze shatter, spraying liquor everywhere. The police arrive to take all four friends to the drunk tank.

Scene Three
Dionne, Gladys, Stevie and Elton are drying out in the local jail. They are in adjacent cells that meet at one corner. Each reaches out to touch hands through the bars where the cells meet.

Elton: For good times and for bad times.

All: I’ll be on your side forever more.

Dionne: That’s what friends are for.

Stevie (still drunk): Ha-ha! That's what friends are for. Ha-ha-ha! Yeah!

A guard walks in with a bottle of Advil and gestures if anyone needs any.

Dionne: I’ll need for sure.

Stevie: I will need for sure.

Elton: I will need for sure.

Dionne: That’s what friends are for. Keep smiling. Keep shining.

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