Running Around in a Red Panic

This snowstorm, in addition to being completely terrifying, is also going to be a major setback in terms of me finishing my Valentine’s Day shopping.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re going to say. “You shouldn’t have waited so long to start, Brian. If you’d been smart, you would have started on Dec. 26 when all the supermarkets took down their Christmas displays to put up the Valentine’s Day chocolates and cards.”

You’re absolutely right. Now one of the biggest holidays of the year is only 25 days or so away and there’s a huge blizzard that’s going to paralyze everything and I’m going to end up as one of those fools who is running around in a red panic like a chicken with its head cut off on Feb. 13 while the smart shoppers already have everything wrapped and ready to go and can just huddle under blankets and enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate. If I were smarter, I would have taken the full seven weeks to complete my purchases.

Like most other people, I have a massive shopping list for Valentine’s Day. Since we’re newlyweds, I would like to do something special for my new husband so this year, I have an expanded card budget to buy an assortment of cards to express every aspect of love. I am also scouring stores to buy dark chocolate in every possible percentage. Then there are all the other people for whom I need to shop.   

And now I am probably going to be stuck inside for a few days because of this snow and I won’t be able to get out to finish my shopping. Yeah, there’s online shopping — if all the servers in the country don’t lose power in the blizzards. There’s been so much snow over Valentine’s Day shopping season that I’ve barely been able to leave the house to buy food, let alone the scores of red hearts I need.

Well, I just hope I can stop trembling long enough to grip the steering wheel and drive home. I may just get a hotel for the week. I remember, 15 or 20 years ago, I had a bad experience driving in the snow. I slid a little going down a hill. And even though I didn’t hit anything, when you experience that kind of terror, it forms a scar on you that never really heals …

Godspeed, everyone. See you on the other side.