Whither WeatherTech?

God, I would be pissed if someone gave me something from WeatherTech for Christmas.

There are a lot of commercials this time of year imploring people to “give the gift of WeatherTech,” as if it’s a blue Tiffany box. A lot of people probably welcome these car accessories. Give my WeatherTech stuff to those people instead.

It’s not like I go mudding a lot. My car has 205,000 miles on it so I’m not that worried at this point about getting the floor mats dirty. “Oh, slush stains beneath my feet in my depreciated car! What a disaster! If only I had WeatherTech!” Getting excited about finding WeatherTech under the Christmas tree would be like getting excited about finding a bib under there.

I don’t think I could even feign enthusiasm about getting WeatherTech from someone. I’d just yell, “RECEIPT PLEASE. RECEIPT PLEASE. WHAT IS THIS. WHY DID YOU BUY THIS. RECEIPT.”

I give the WeatherTech people credit for making their utilitarian products attractive and fun in their commercials but I’m just not interested. No, it’s not the perfect gift. It’s not “getting you something you’d never get yourself” because it’s not something I would ever get myself, because I don’t care.