Brian tells it like it is on telling it like it is

Sometimes the sentiment that “So-and-so tells it like it is” can really mean “So-and-so is an asshole.” It’s a polite way of excusing unreasonable behavior. You know who else “tells it like it is”? Your crotchety great uncle, using the N-word and the F-word and every other derogatory word during Thanksgiving dinner. What a character.

This can be especially true in politics, when outspoken elected officials say offensive things and people laud their honesty. I believe this is the appeal of Gov. Chris Christie: He tells it like it is, telling unionized teachers to go to hell and making crude remarks to young women at town hall meetings. If we were to tell it like it is about this guy, we’d be calling him a morbidly obese prick.

Oh, do my words offend you? Well, I’m just telling it like it is. Just shake your head and chuckle at what a character I am.

You can forgive that sort of bluntness in family or friends but I don’t understand why brutal honesty is such a prime selling point for presidential candidates. Ross Perot told it like it was and he was a great novelty act but the nation took a second look and realized it didn’t really want him as a leader. If “telling it like it is” is a reason for you to vote someone in to office, you should just vote for anyone with a big fucking mouth. Sophia Petrillo and Archie Bunker would have been your candidates.

It’s nice to admire candid candidates but that one shouldn’t consider the style of expression over the substance of the message. I wonder how much of the conflict between Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum boils down to the honest Santorum vs. the slick Romney. What matters as far as those two is the actual positions they espouse, not simply that one might flip-flop and the other might be brutally honest. I would hope anyone who votes for Santorum would actually agree with his positions, not just admire how stentorian he is. I can almost hear people saying, “I don’t agree with him but I admire how he speaks his mind.” So what. Millions of people speak their minds and they’re not qualified for higher office. What we need are leadership skills and workable solutions to problems, not just personalities.

Honesty is a good human trait but I don’t think it’s necessarily a good trait for an elected official. I think to lead this country, you need to be able to deliver a whole pile of steaming bullshit when the situation calls for it. Presidents need to be able to get their hands messy with the sausage of laws and not just approach everything with childlike honesty. You need to approach that job with at least a small degree of savvy and not just open your big mouth whenever you want.