Bottomless Outrage

Boy, I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to go online and see the latest screen shot of a (fake) receipt with a (fake) nasty note instead of a tip so I can once again summon my BOOOOTOOOOMLESSSSS OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGE!!!

My God — somewhere in America, a waiter or waitress didn't get a tip! Stop the presses and prepare the six-column New York Times headline! We’ll always remember where we were when this major injustice happened!

Yes, I tip the service industry decently and think it’s a shame that some assholes will write a personal insult in the “tip” field on the receipt. (I think it’s especially ridiculous for people to cite religious reasons for why they don’t tip. What church do they belong to? The First Church of St. Cheapskate?) But one of the downsides of viral photos and videos is that now every small social slight has to be greeted with disproportionate hysteria. I’m sorry the server lost out on a little income but does that really mean the entire nation has to weigh in on what is basically a bad day at work? Do you know how many other people had a bad day at work today? All of us. I feel bad for these servers but maybe we should have a more proportionate sense of outrage that doesn’t involve nationwide attention and 43 follow-up articles on scandalous receipt du jour.

The latest National Outrage I saw was a waitress who didn’t get a receipt because she was a fan of Auburn and the customer was an Alabama fan who was upset that his team lost. Again, it’s a shame that the person didn’t get a tip but there is no reason this should be news. It boils down to “one person was rude to another” and that happens all the time to everyone and is by definition not news.

Besides, the bill was like $20 so this server only got cheated out of $4. Let me organize a beef and beer so we can replace that $4 plus an additional $12,549 for her trouble. Perspective.

Yes, I thought it was a shame that the former military waitress with the short haircut didn't get a tip because the diners disapproved of her gay lifestyle. The waitress got a ton of donation money, which she admirably donated to charity. That the receipt with the gay slur is now allegedly fake highlights something ridiculous about this whole story: It was nice that strangers raised money to support the waitress but did she really need thousands of dollars in compensation? I could see the woman getting reimbursed for the amount she lost in tips plus a little more for her trouble but that’s about it. It’s nice that she’s not pocketing the money and is instead donating it to a charity but if I want to give to charity, I’ll just cut out the middleman and donate directly.

Really, what is the going reimbursement rate for servers for a slur on a receipt? Is it per slur or hourly or what? Do the labor laws cover the compensatory wage for this? Shit, I’d put up with abuse for at least a few shifts if it would mean I could post screen shots of anti-gay receipts to every website in existence and thousands of Americans would send me checks. I’d take the money and my gay husband and I could go on a nice vacation.