As of September 30th, 2015 at 9:08 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, I do not give Facebook ...

As of September 30^th, 2015 at 9:08 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, I do not give Facebook or any real or imaginary entities associated with Facebook on any plane of existence permission to use my pictures, information, posts, insights, dreams, fantasies, commercial jingles, scripts produced on spec, theories, rants, ruminations, oil paintings, manifestos, position papers, white papers, talking points, or most private thoughts, both past and future in this timeline or in alternate timelines. By this statement, I read the riot act to Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, surveil by drone, post in the town square, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents, so get thee behind me Satan. The content of this profile is private and confidential information, locked away in a wax-sealed envelope inside a shoebox inside a booby-trapped suitcase inside a welded-shut steamer trunk locked so deep inside my soul that no key forged by the hand of man could ever open it. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103, the Rome Statute, the Magna Carta, the 28^th Amendment to the Constitution and the Bhagavad Gita) and penalties include necklacing, curb stomping, garroting, strappado, boiling in oil, drawing and quartering and paper cuts. NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members, from the dewiest babe to the most wizened elder, must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, even those you have never posted online, even those you never knew existed that preserve in perpetuity your most embarrassing moments, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy by quill pen and directly onto the computer screens of every other Facebook user.