Because misreading a card at an awards show is an absolutely unforgivable crime. Sure, you might think, “Oh, it’s just a beauty pageant.” May I remind you that the name of the pageant is Miss Universe. Therefore, Steve Harvey did not just offend two women and the countries they represent. No, his crime was against the universe itself and the universe will have its justice.
We must put Steve Harvey to death as quickly as possible, by any means available, without a trial or due process of any kind. Those gleaming game show teeth and that boisterous personality will not save him. The man screwed up with Perez Hilton in the audience and I don’t have to tell you the gravitas that brings to his error. After Harvey’s corpse is safely disposed of, the extensive investigation into this massive, profoundly tragic error can begin. I recommend that the World Court take the reins.
The Colombians are right to sue the Miss Universe pageant and demand that Miss Philippines return the crown because reading a piece of paper incorrectly is one of the biggest mistakes one can make and to preserve order in our society and prevent this kind of thing from happening again, the price must be as high as possible. I don’t see how Miss Colombia can recover from this.
If you have a pang of conscience this Christmas week and do not wish for Harvey’s blood, you’re just very ignorant and not seeing the big picture. Colombia and the Philippines may very well go to war over who keeps that tiara. Do you want to see a mushroom cloud over Bogota or Manila? Do you? Because unless you support extreme sanctions, the murder of millions by nuclear fire will be on your head.
Execute Steve Harvey. It’s the price of a sane world.
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