Tuesday, June 25, 2013

I had the most catered dream


I dreamed I became some sort of wedding planner. I was in our kitchen with my parents, Jeanine and a bunch of other people. We were cooking for an upcoming wedding.

Someone asked me where the paper towels were because we had run out. I said they were under the sink. The person who asked seemed confused about this and needed more specifics. “Just fucking open the cabinet door,” I snapped.

I didn’t mean to snap but did the person really think I had nothing better to do than give explicit instructions for where to find the paper towels? I was planning a wedding. Figure it out on your own.

The next day I stopped over Ann’s house to do some more work on the wedding. Erik was there watching TV. He made some sort of hilariously vile comment, merging two nasty terms for genitalia into one catchy portmanteau. I can’t remember what it was.

This dream was even more surreal than most because I have no desire to become any sort of event planner. I have already been through the D-Day like machinations of planning a wedding and have no desire to plan anyone else’s, thank you very much. We had fun and everything but it got to be a little much at times with putting together all those favors and centerpieces. Luckily, Salero was very organized and helpful so I had no stress there.

I can’t imagine being a wedding planner. Now that my own is over, I just want to sit back for awhile and be a guest at other people’s functions and only have to worry about showing up on time.

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