Brrr!

You know what the worst thing is about this time of year? The cold.

With our central air set at 72 efficient degrees, our house is chilly enough to hang a side of beef in the dining room. It is torture, I tell you. The worst — The Worst! — is when I’m just trying to read a book or watch TV and I can feel the goosebumps starting on my skin. Sometimes I have to go outside just to warm up. Can you imagine?

There is no relief at night. I can barely sleep, what with the air from the vent giving me chills. It’s gotten so bad some nights that I actually have to pull on the quilt as well as the blanket. What is this, Russia? The noise of the central air can sometimes keep me up, too.

We are very unfortunate.

I don’t even get a break at work. I get chills just sitting in this office. Why, it must be 70 degrees in here! My keyboard just clatters as my hands shake and I have to keep retyping things because I make mistakes. If it gets bad enough, I may be forced to bring in a jacket. Call OSHA!

I just wish more people would consider the atmospheric plight of the white collar office workers.